A Place For My Head
by LauraGarthwait
Summary: A/U revolving around Jax and Tara's teenage years, documenting my version of their life together. Some things will line up with Kurt Sutter's brilliant writing, with my own little spin on things.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: I decided to take a break from Because You Loved Me, it will have an update as soon as I figure out where I want to take it next. I have been working on this story in my mind for awhile, even before I decided to write and publish anything. I hope you all enjoy! All reviews will be appreciated! Let me know what you think :)**_

Sixteen is the age most kids dream of finally getting to their entire childhood. Sweet sixteen parties, officially able to drive without a parent in the car, more freedom from their parents.

To Tara Knowles, this day meant nothing. There wasn't going to be any parties, she's been a designated driver for her alcoholic father for over a year now. Her mom died when she was 9, she's been taking care of herself and her dad ever since. This day will be just like every other day in this miserable town.

Halfway through her shower, the water shut off before she had the chance to rinse the conditioner out. _Great, happy birthday to me._ She wrapped herself in the robe hanging on the back of the door and went to get the jug of water sitting by the kitchen sink.

She leaned her head into the sink and poured the water on her heading hoping to get as much of the conditioner out as possible. _Good enough._

She glanced at the clock on the stove, 6:45. _Good, I have enough time to make me some breakfast. Of course, empty. I guess breakfast at the diner it is then. Pancakes sound awesome._

She grabbed her backpack and house key, locking the door behind her. It's not a long walk to the diner but she picked up the pace anyways to make sure she was on time for first period.

"Have a seat anywhere, honey." The waitress greeted her as Tara walked through the door.

She chose a seat in the back, away from the other people dining here.

"What can I get ya?" The same waitress asked.

"I'd like the chocolate chip pancakes with a coke please." Tara smiles politely.

Tara pulled out her copy of Pride and Prejudice and started reading waiting on her food to be brought out. She didn't notice that someone had sat down in front of her.

"Must be a good book." She heard an unfamiliar voice say.

She looked up, stunned to see Jackson Teller sitting in her booth, smiling at her.

She and Jax had been in school together since kindergarten but they weren't friends, not even close. She was sure he didn't even know she existed until now, here he is, sitting in front of her.

"It is." She finally answered. "What do you want Jackson?" She asked, looking around to see if the diner had filled up, leaving him no where else to sit. _No, there's seats everywhere...why did he pick this one?_

"I want some pancakes. If I'm bothering you, I can sit over there." He said, pointing to a booth across from them, starting to get up.

"No, that didn't come out like I meant." She stammered. "I just meant we never talk, so I was wondering if there was something you needed." She said, clarifying. She bit her lip.

"Well Ms. Knowles, I don't know about you but I think we should change that." He said, smirking.

 _Change what? For you Jax Teller I'd change everything.. What are you saying. You don't even know him, sure you've grown up together but you definitely don't know him._

Realizing she hadn't actually replied to him, she blushed. "Change what?"

"The fact that we don't talk, we should change that." He said, raising his eyebrows.

The waitress came out and brought Tara her pancakes and took Jax's order.

"Those look good." He said, picking off a corner of her pancake and popping into his mouth.

"Hey you. Eat your own breakfast." She chuckled. Right on cue, the waitress brought Jax his order.

"Here you go, sweetheart." The waitress said, sitting his plate down in front of him.

"Thanks Doris." He flashed his mega watt smile, pouring syrup all over his pancakes.

"So I don't usually see you here." He says, swallowing his mouthful of food.

"Yeah, I don't get out a lot. School and Home, mostly. I guess today I'm treating myself to a special birthday breakfast." She blurted out before she even realized what she was saying.

"Today's your birthday?" That mega watt smile creeping back up on his face.

"Yeah.. 16th." She said, finishing her last bite of food and pushing the plate away.

"Well happy birthday. Any special plans?" He asked.

 _Yeah..School then home to spend the night all alone, again this year._

"After school, my dad's going to take me to dinner and then a movie." She lied, not wanting Jax to know about her home life. She's pretty sure everyone knows about her alcoholic father already but she didn't want to advertise it.

"Cool. We should just ditch then..spend your birthday doing something fun." He said.

 _Shit. Jax Teller is asking me to spend the day with him on the day that I have 3 tests. Shit Shit Shit. Just my luck._

"I wish I could. I have 3 tests today, I can't miss." She said, getting up and laying cash on the table, not noticing the frown that crossed his face when she turned him down.

"Well, at least let me pay for your breakfast. The birthday girl should not have to buy her own food." He handed her the money she put on the table and paid for them both.

"Thanks, Jax. That's very nice of you." She grinned.

"You're welcome, darlin. You want a ride to school." He held the door open for her and she squinted when the California sun hit her eyes.

"Um..well..sure..." She stammered.

He led her over to his bike. "You ever ridden before?"

"No, I've not had any offers before now." She said, wishing instantly she could take that comment back.

He smirked at her, handing her his helmet. "Well I'm glad I'm your first..." He paused, bit his lip. "I mean your first offer to ride a bike. Sorry."

She chuckled. "Well thanks for the offer."

"Anytime darlin."

She wrapped her arms around him, holding tightly as he sped off in the direction of the school.

"You ok back there?" He laughed, as he turned off the engine, after pulling into the lot at school.

She released her grip on him. "Yeah. Uh. Sorry."

"It's cool, what's your first class?" He seemed oblivous to all of the stares they were getting. She on the otherhand wasn't.

"English." She answered, dropping her eyes away from the hateful stares being thrown in her direction.

He walked her to her locker and took the books from her hands, carrying them to class for her.

"Thanks, Jax." She kissed his cheek, taking her books from him before turning to walk into class. A blush creeping upon her cheeks again.

"See ya later, darlin." He winked, rubbing his hand over his cheek she just kissed.

The rest of Tara's day passed by uneventful, Jax skipped out after he dropped her off at first period.

The final bell rang and she jumped out of her seat just like everyone else, rushing for the door, excited for the three day weekend.

 _Well let's go home and spend another birthday by myself. Maybe I should stop by the market, pick up some stuff to make myself a cake._

She walked to the store, picked up the ingredients to make the cake, some icing, some ice cream, chips, and soda.

 _What the hell I'll throw myself a birthday party, there won't be anyone else in attendance but that's normal. I haven't had any guests over on my birthday since before mom died._

Tara arrived back at home and her dad's cutlass wasn't in the driveway.

 _Guess he got an early start today. I'll wrap him up a slice of cake and put it in the fridge for him._

Tara sighed, looking around the messy house. She wished he would have taken one day to stay sober and spend with her but of course, that wouldn't happen.


	2. Chapter 2

Jax had Tara on his mind since he left her at school this morning. He had never noticed how beautiful she was, hell he'd never even seen her really smile since they were little kids, that is until this morning.

He was working at the garage with Opie, that was Gemma's rule, if they skipped school they worked at TM.

He had been hoping to go see Tara on her lunch break or to even pick her up after school but everyone apparently decided today's the day for oil changes.

"Where's your head at brutha?" Opie asked, wiping the grease off his hands.

"What do you know about Tara Knowles?"

"Shit man, she's way out of your league." Opie laughed throwing the grease rag at him.

"Fuck you. Seriously what do you know about her?" Jax asked, more seriously this time.

"Nothing really. She's a loner, bookworm." Opie said.

"Yeah, that's about what I got too. I talked to her this morning, she was at the diner buying herself pancakes. I gave her a ride to school. That's about it." Jax said, closing the bay doors.

"Man, she's not like the girls that hang around here." Opie said, smirking at his friend.

"I know." Jax shrugged.

"I'm saying she's not the hit it and quit it type man. She's the long term serious relationship kind, and that's definitely not your type of girl." Opie said, shaking his head.

"It's different with her. I'll see ya later man." Jax said, climbing on his bike.

 _Maybe Op's right. I like the girls that I can get what I want when I want it and move on to the next. There's something different about Tara though._

As he was riding he noticed Tara's dad stumbling back into the bar. _What the hell, I thought Tara said he was taking her to dinner and a movie. Surely this asshole didn't forget his own daughter's sixteenth birthday._

He turned the Dyna up the street he remembered that Tara lived on. When they were kids Op's mom lived in the house across the street from Tara when Op's mom and dad split up for the hundredth time.

He pulled into her driveway, wondering if he was really ready to go through with this. He's never put this much effort into a girl before. He's never even cared about their home life.

Adjusting his jeans and shirt, he knocked on her door. He heard movement inside and then a click as she was unlocking the door.

"Jax?" She said, stunned. "What...what are you doing here?" She stammered.

"Hey, Tara. I just thought I'd stop by and see if your plans had changed, maybe you wanna hang out?"

She bit her lip, looking around, unsure of what to do.

"Well, my dad is in the shower. We're supposed to go when he gets out." She turned her eyes down to the concrete on the porch.

 _I guess she just doesn't wanna hang out with me, but why is she lying?_

"Aight. Well I just thought I'd stop by and see." Jax shrugged, turning to walk away when he stopped all of a sudden and turned back to her. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." She answered, frowning.

"Why are you lying to me? If you don't wanna hang out with me, just say so darlin." Jax stated, wiping the sweat off of his forehead.

"What..Why do you think I'm lying?" She asked, sadly.

"Tara, I saw your dad at the bar across town."

Jax saw the tears in her eyes and stepped forward wiping them away with his thumb.

"Do you wanna come in?" Tara asked, moving out of his way to let him inside.

He nodded and stepped inside looking around.

"Excuse the mess, it's hard to keep it clean sometimes." Tara says apologetically. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders heading to the kitchen.

"I was making a cake, if you'd like a piece when it's done."

"Sure." He agreed and sat down in one of the kitchen chairs she cleaned out for him.

"So are you gonna tell me?" He asked, grabbing her hand and looking into her eyes.

She looked down at the floor but he used his finger to tilt her chin back up so he could see her eyes.

"Tell you what?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"Why you lied about hanging out with your dad?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to seem like a charity case and want you to feel like you needed to hang out with me. I'm used to spending my birthdays alone, so this isn't really anything new." She said, pulling the cake out of the oven.

"Your dad forget it's your birthday?" He asked, stunned. His mom always goes all out for his birthdays, his mom goes all out for everything.

"I don't know if he forgets or he just don't care. My dad checked out when my mom died, I spend my time alone. I don't tell anyone because I don't want people feeling sorry for me, the poor little girl with a drunk daddy who puts booze before her." A single tear fell down her cheek.

Jax felt the urge to protect her from this pain. This was definitely a new feeling for him.

"So you wanna go get that dinner and a movie you mentioned earlier." Jax asked, hoping she'd accept his offer. He wasn't ready to give up his time with her yet.

"Um..well..sure, I mean if you want to." Tara said.

"Cool, well lets go darlin."

Tara finished washing the dishes and Jax smacked her ass with the dishtowel.

"C'mon, we don't wanna spend what's left of your birthday cleaning." Jax exclaimed. "Lets go babe."

"Babe?" Tara laughed, chasing him to smack him back with the dishtowel.

He turned around and they ran right into each other, causing both of them to laugh.

"Yeah babe, you have a problem with me calling you babe?" He asked, staring intently now.

" No. I don't have a problem with it." Tara shrugged, grabbing her coat.

"Is pizza okay with you?" He asked, helping her getting settled on his bike.

"Great. I love pizza." She said, honestly, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"My kind of a girl." He squeezed her hand.

They walked into Al's Pizza, ordered a large meat lovers and drinks. The pizza joint was filled with a lot of the kids from their high school, all of whom were staring at the two of them.

"You okay babe?" Jax asked, noticing how antsy Tara was getting.

"Yeah, sorry, just not used to all of the stares, I'm used to being invisible to everyone." She answered, still staring down at the table.

Jax lifted her chin up and made her look into his eyes. "You are far from invisible, darlin. I've always noticed you, even when you didn't notice me." He released her chin but stared directly into her eyes, seeing the shocked expression cross her face.

"What do you mean?" Tara asked, hesitantly.

"I mean I've always noticed you. I noticed you in class, in the hallways at school, in the cafeteria. You're always in your own little world. You rarely smile a real smile. You give people fake smiles a lot but I haven't seen a real smile since we were kids up until this morning." He answered.

Tara was blushing but smiling brightly now. _Her smile is beautiful, that blush that creeps up on face is beautiful. She's just beautiful._

"Hey Jax, what's up?" A female voice said at the corner of the table.

"Having dinner." Jax answered, annoyance evident in his tone.

"Yeah, I see that. What are you doing with her?" Lindsey, the blond, asked. "You're not on a date with her...are you?" She asked, laughing at the thought of it.

"Excuse me?" Tara asked. "Is there something wrong with me, bitch?" She continued.

"Yeah, you're ugly, you're not Jax's type at all, you're a loser." Lindsey laughed.

Tara started to respond, but Jax grabbed her hand.

"Actually, I have a new type. I love the fact that Tara doesn't sleep around with multiple guys like you, she's beautiful without trying, she doesn't wear tons of make up to be gorgeous it's natural, and darlin she's far from a loser. Now if you would excuse us I'd like to finish our pizza in peace." Jax said, clearly dismissing her.

"Jax, you didn't have to defend me." Tara stated.

"Someone needs to defend you babe. You don't have to always take care of yourself. I can help you, if you just let me." He said, rubbing circles on her hands.

"You ready for the movie?" Tara asked, changing the subject.

"Definitely." He said, intertwining his fingers with hers and walking her out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

"Thanks for dinner and a movie, Jax. I had fun." She said, climbing off his bike after he pulled into her drive way.

"My pleasure, I had a great time too." He said, getting off the Dyna to walk her to the door.

"I should get inside before my dad gets here, thanks again. Goodnight, Jax." She leaned in and kissed his cheek, once again.

"Goodnight, Tara. Sleep tight." He winked and turned and left.

Tara closed the door once inside and leaned against it, her head spinning. Jax Teller spent her birthday with her, defended her against his groupies, gave her attention she hadn't had in years.

"Where the hell you been." Her dad slurred, sitting at the kitchen table.

Tara's head jerked up.

"Dad, I thought you were still gone? Where's the cutlass?" Tara asked hesitantly, slowly walking into the kitchen.

"Where. Have. You. Been?" He growled again taking another shot of whiskey.

"A friend took me to dinner and a movie for my birthday." She said, eyes wide.

"Birthday?" He slurred again.

"Yes my birthday." She stated, again. "I left you a piece of cake in the fridge." She informed, already leaning in to get the cake out.

"Get in bed." He said, taking the cake from her.

"Yes sir." She answered, walking to her room, tears streaming down her cheeks. Angrily she wiped them away, refusing to let her drunken father ruin the night Jax had given her.

Tara rolled around in bed restlessly. She looked at the clock. 3:00 A.M. She groaned.

4:00 a.m. 5:00 a.m. She watched the hours tick by, unable to sleep. Images of Jax filled her mind.

"Tara, get up. I'm hungry." She heard her dad yelling and banging on her door.

"Make your own damn food." She hissed under her breath, but rolled out of bed anyways.

She used the left over eggs she bought yesterday to make some scrambled eggs and french toast for them. They ate in silence, Tara read the newspaper and her dad ignored her like always.

After she did the breakfast dishes she decided to go for a walk and get some fresh air. She walked with no specific location in mind, wishing she'd run into Jax again. This was crazy, surely he just felt sorry for her. The alcoholic's daughter who chose booze over spending time with his daughter on her birthday. Jax definitely did not care about her, not like she did him anyways.

She ended up at the used book store. This was one of her favorite stores in town. Books, they are her escape from reality, escape from the loneliness that has been her normal since her mom died seven years ago.

"So I could have figured I'd find you here." A familiar voice said behind her. She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her lips.

"...and what are you doing in here, Jax?" She asked, eyebrows raised.

"Saw you walk in, I was across the street with Op getting a soda from the diner and then there you were, so thought I'd see if you wanted to join us." He said softly.

"You want ME..to hang out with you and your friend?" She asked incredulously, uncertain if he was just messing with her. She figured last night was a one time thing.

"Yes, you." He laughed. "Why wouldn't I? I thought we had fun last night?" He said, feeling uncertain she felt the same things as him.

"I did. I mean I do. I'd like that very much, thank you." She blushed, taking his outstretched hand and walking across the street with him.

"Tara, this is my boy Opie." Jax said, gesturing toward Op.

Tara scooted into the booth. "I know Jax, we all grew up here remember," She laughed. "Nice to see you, Opie."

"Yeah, that's right, I uh.. well.." Jax stammered.

Opie burst into laughter. "Nice to see you, Tara. It's awesome that a girl has this effect of this dumbass." He laughed harder, pointing to Jax.

"What effect is that?" Tara asked, unsure.

"Making him stutter like an idiot." Opie laughed harder, Jax held up his middle finger, causing Tara to laugh and lean into kiss his cheek.

Jax wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side, kissing her on the temple.

Opie watched them both in disbelief. This girl had Jax upside down, it's uncommon for Jax to want to hang out with a girl outside of the bedroom, and he never brought girls to hang out with just the two of them.

"Where's your girlfriend, Opie?" Tara asked. She didn't really know the short brown haired girl that was always with Opie and Jax at school but she seemed nice.

"Her grandmother died, she's in Lake Tahoe for the funeral." He answered.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." Tara said, looking out of the diner window.

"It's cool, they weren't close, she only saw her on holidays." Op said, getting up to use the bathroom.

"So, what's your plans for the rest of the day?" Jax asked, turning to face her.

"Nothing really, just hanging at home reading probably." She answered, rolling her eyes at how lame her life is.

"We were thinking of hitting up Juice's party later on, you wanna come?"

"Who's that?" She asked.

"Juan Carlos. We call him Juice." He said. "So you wanna come?"

"Oh I just didn't know the nickname. Yeah, I guess I can come." She replied, taking a sip of her milkshake Jax bought her.

"Cool. If you want I can pick you up about 8:00? Is that ok?"

"Sounds good, thanks for inviting me." She said, sweetly.

"No problem darlin, it'll be more fun with you there." He winked at her causing her to blush. She wasn't sure exactly what he had in mind but she really didn't care.

"Hey brutha, we've got to get to TM, Piney's having a shit fit about us not getting back there to fix that Accord that was brought in this morning." Opie said.

"Aight man. I'll be out in a minute." Jax answered, hoping he'd catch the hint he wanted this last few minutes with her alone.

"Do you need a ride home?" He asked, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear, only for it to fall right back out.

"No, I'm fine, it sounds like you need to get back." She said, finishing her milkshake and standing up.

"I can take you home. It's cool." He answered.

She wasn't really ready to go home yet, she planned to walk around some more but she wasn't going to miss the chance to ride on his bike again.

"Well, if you're sure it's okay." She replied.

"C'mon babe." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I'll be back around 8" He said, stepping into give her a quick kiss on the lips. Her breath hitched, she wasn't expecting that, but it was great.

She wasn't sure what this was to Jax but she knew she couldn't wait to see where it led them next, even if heartbreak was inevitable, she would ride this crazy ride as long as she could.


	4. Chapter 4

What do I wear, I don't have any good clothes. None that are good enough anyways. Tara was throwing clothes from her closet onto her bed. Sighing as she sifted through them. This wasn't like her, she didn't make a fuss over what clothes to wear, how to fix her hair. Why was she now? Jackson Teller. She wanted to look good enough for him. It was as simple as that.

After an hour of searching through her clothes she decided to go with her favorite pair of faded jeans that hugged her hips, perfectly. She grabbed a simple black tank top and her flip flops. She dressed then sat in front of the mirror to figure out what to do with her hair.

Tara heard the doorbell ring. She grabbed the clock. 7:25, who could that be? Jax wasn't supposed to get here until 8.

She opened the door and Jax was standing on the other side looking stunning in his jeans and white t-shirt with a flannel shirt overtop. He was gorgeous.

"Hey, beautiful." He greets, smiling broadly at her.

"Hey, do you realize you're thirty five minutes early?" She asked, stepping aside to let him in. Thankfully her dad decided to go out right after work this evening.

"Yea, I'd say sorry, but I'd be lying. I missed you, couldn't force myself to stay away any longer." He winked.

"Well, I can't fault you for that. I am unbelievably missable." Tara winked back, blushing.

"I definitely agree with that statement." He leaned in and kissed her quickly on the lips.

"So are you ready or were you still getting ready? You look great to me so just figured I'd ask." He smirked.

He's quite the charmer. Now it was clear how he had the reputation he did. Tara tried to push that thought quickly out of her head. She didn't want to think about the girls Jax Teller had been with in the past. He was with her now, even if she wasn't sure how long he'd stay around. She didn't want to be the one to mess it up by stupid insecurities.

"I'm ready." Tara took a deep breath and follow Jax out, locking up.

"I've never been to a party before." She admitted, staring at all of the people walking into the party.

"You'll be fine, babe." Jax said, pulling her in for a hug. The sound of another motorcycle was rapidly approaching.

"What's up guys?"Op said, climbing off his bike.

"Just waiting for your slow ass." Jax laughed.

"Well I'm here, lets go." Op said, leading the way.

The music was blaring, kids Tara usually avoided were everywhere. She took another deep breath and followed Jax in.

"You want a beer?" Jax said in her ear.

She nodded. Jax grabbed the beers and handed one to Opie and her. She chugged hers, trying to taste it as little as possible. She's never like the taste of beer.

"Want another?" Jax laughed, eyebrows raised as he watched her.

"Na, I'm good. Thanks." She smiled sweetly.

"Op, Jax." Juice slurred, clearly wasted already. "Tara Knowles at one of my parties. Wow. I didn't see that coming." He said, staring Tara up and down.

"She came with me." Jax said, wrapping his arm around Tara's waist.

"Oh cool ya'll dating?" Juice asked, innocently.

"No, We're just hanging out." Tara said, causing Jax to look at her incredulously, removing his arm from her waist.

"Well thanks for coming." Juice said, walking off to greet his other guests.

Jax looked pissed and Tara had no idea why.

"What's wrong?" She leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Nothing. I'm gonna get another beer." He brushed past her.

It had been at least fifteen minutes and Jax still wasn't back yet, she decided to go look for him.

"Op have you seen Jax?" She asked, kind of surprised they weren't together.

"He was outside." Op pointed to the back door.

Tara saw Jax outside leaned up against a tree flirting with the blond girl from the diner, Lindsey. Stunned and confused. Why did he invite her here if he was going bail and hook up with some blond bitch who has fucked half the guys here, probably even him.

Tara felt sick to her stomach so decided it was time to call it a night. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she weaved her way through the crowd of people she was invisible too.

"Hey, What's wrong?" Op asked, grabbing her arm.

"Nothing. I'm just going home. See ya later Opie." She pulled away from him.

"Tara, what's wrong?" He asked again, blocking the exit.

"Your friend is an asshole. That's all. Now if you would please move out of my way, I want to go home." Tara was fuming and Opie did as she asked.

"Let me take you, you don't need to walk home alone in the dark." He said, falling in step beside her.

"I'll survive, thanks for the offer."

"It wasn't an offer Tara, I'm taking you home. Now hop on my bike." He ordered, handing her a helmet.

She did as she was told and he took her home. "Look, I don't know what Jax did but you should know he really likes you. He talks about you all of the time." Op informed her.

"Yeah, that didn't stop him from leaving me alone at a party I only came to in the first place to be with him. That didn't stop him from working his "I'm Jax Teller" bullshit on stupid whores when he was supposed to be with me." She took a breath. "Thanks again for the ride." She turned and unlocked her door.

"Tara, wait." Op tried stopping her.

"Have a good night." She said, closing the door behind her.

Tara curled up on her bed and cried herself to sleep. She woke up to a sound outside her window. She pulled the curtain back to find Jax standing there.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, after opening the window.

"Why did you leave?" He asked, climbing through and sitting on her bed.

"Oh let me see. You tell me you're going to get a beer then after awhile I go look for you and what do I find? I find you leaning up against a tree firting with Lindsey. So I figured you were done with me and moving onto the next." She said, rubbing her eyes.

"Tara. You have it all wrong." He paused when she rolled her eyes.

"I know what I saw Jax." She interrupted.

"What you saw was me trying to cool off after what you said to Juice and not wanting to say something I'd regret. I was standing out there and she came up flirting with me. I told her I wasn't interested. I have not been interested in another girl since the day we started talking." He pulled her on the bed beside him.

"What...What did I say to Juice?" She asked, confused, trying to remember the conversation she had with him.

"You said we were just hanging out, we weren't dating like you hoped he would ask you out." He growled causing Tara to laugh out loud, then cover her mouth, eyes wide.

"I said we were hanging out because that's what we have been doing, we haven't talked about anything else. I didn't know what you wanted." She paused. "I didn't want to have a rumor spread about us dating and that's not even what you wanted." She whispered.

"That makes sense, I'm sorry I was an ass and left you alone. If you give me a chance, it won't happen again." He promised, kissing her knuckles.

"Okay, so what do you want from us?" She asked, quietly.

"Lets see how it plays out." He says, kissing her forehead.

"What if someone asks again if we're dating?" Tara pushed.

"Say we are." He simply says, laying back on her bed.

"I can do that." She smiles and lays on his arm.

Jax kisses her and slides his hand under her shirt. She grabs his hand and pulls it back out.

"I...I...I'm sorry." She stammers.

"It's ok babe." He sighs, kissing her head. His erection painfully disagreeing.

"I just..I've never well...you know." She says.

"It's ok babe. We can take things slow. I didn't realize you've never...It's me that should be sorry." He kissed her lips softly.

They cuddled and fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

Tara heard her front door slam, eyes shooting to her clock. 3:25 a.m.

"Shit, my dad's home." Tara said, panicked, shaking Jax awake.

"Jax you have to go, my dad's home." She said again.

Jax jumped up, climbing back out of her window, remembering his bike parked in her driveway. They were busted.

"Tara what the hell is a motorcycle doing in my driveway, You better not be whoring around in there." Jax heard her dad yell.

He started to climb back in when he heard her open her bedroom door open.

"Dad, there's no one here. Maybe someone was drunk and parked in our driveway by mistake. You can look around there's no one here."She spoke slowly.

"You better not be whoring around." He growled but seemed content with no one being there and shut her door.

Tara looked out of her window as Jax raised up in her sight. "SHIT Jax." She hissed, grabbing her chest. He startled her.

"Sorry." He whispered. "I just didn't want to leave without making sure you were ok."

"I'm fine." She smiled. He leaned into her window kissing her then dropping back to his feet and pushed his bike down the street before starting it.

"You must think I'm an idiot." Her dad yelled. "I saw that boy coming from around the house from your window. I thought you were smarter than these town sluts, I guess I was wrong. You are just like them." He shouted.

"Dad there was no one here." She lied again, laying back down.

"STOP LYING TO ME TARA." He yanked her out of bed and took off his belt.

"I haven't spanked your ass in a long time. I thought you were smart. I thought that even though your mom was gone you were still smart. You're not smart. You're stupid. You're a stupid whore, just like all of these other little bitch's I see wandering around in low cut shirts and tight jeans trying to show off your tits and ass." He hit her on the back with the belt, repeatedly. "You're not going to be a biker slut. You understand me." He growled again, hitting her one last time before letting her go.

She fell to her bed on her stomach, crying into her pillow.

"You're grounded." He said, grabbing her cell phone off the table.

Jax had tried to call several times the next day and Sunday. Her dad answered informing him that she's grounded and not allowed to speak with him, to stay away from his daughter.

Monday morning rolled around and Jax got to school early to see Tara.

"Tara, are you okay? I tried calling you." He said.

"Yeah, dad saw you leaving, he grounded me, took my phone." She said, her eyes toward the ground.

"Oh, I'm sorry Tara. I wasn't thinking when I pulled into your drive way. I should have parked down the street." He apologized, and rubbed her back causing her to flinch.

"What's wrong?" He pulled her to the back of the building and pulled up her shirt noticing the fresh belt mark bruises shining brightly against her pale skin.

"What the hell?" He growled.

"He was drunk, he was trying to spank me like when I was little, but he missed. He didn't mean it." Tara defended him.

"He didn't mean to beat you." He growled. "I'll see you later, Tara." He said walking toward his bike.

"Jax, please stop." She begged.

"He's not going to get away with this Tara." He growled again.

"Please, Jax. He didn't mean it." She ran up and wrapped her arms around him.

"I'll see you after school." He kissed her and hopped on his bike, driving toward her house.

"Shit Shit Shit." Tara muttered under her breath, running in the direction of her house.

She flagged Opie down and he gave her a ride home.

They arrived just as Jax kicked in her front door.


	5. Chapter 5

"You son of a bitch." Tara and Opie heard Jax yelling as they were running into the house. Jax was punching her dad in the face, blow after blow. Opie pulled him off of him.

"Knock it off, brutha." Opie said, holding Jax back.

"Knock it off? Do you know what this fucker did to her?" Jax was struggling against Opie's iron grip. "He beat her with a belt, her back is black and blue." He growled.

Opie looked at Tara, who silently nodded. "It was an accident, Jax, he was drunk." Tara pleaded, looking at her dad who lay unconscious on the livingroom floor.

"Being drunk doesn't give him a pass to beat on you, Tara. I will not let someone hurt you. I can't sit back and do nothing." Jax said, finally pulling free from Opie.

Jax pulled Tara's tiny body into his and held her close. "You're my girlfriend. It's my job to protect you, always." He kissed her, and pressed his forehead against hers.

"I know. You should go. I'll stay and make sure he's okay. I'll talk to you later." She pulled Jax's mouth down to hers.

"No, you're not going to be alone here with him. How do you know he won't "accidentally" hurt you again. No way. I'm staying." Jax said, sitting down on the love seat.

"You being here will just make it worse. Go on. He's not drunk anymore. He would never hurt me sober." She grabbed his hand, pulling him up and pushing him out the door.

"Fine, call me if you need anything. I'll be right here." He kissed her before leaving with Opie.

"Thank you for caring about me so much." She whispered to herself as she looked at her dad's bloody face.

She got a wet rag and washed off the blood, causing her dad to stir a little.

"What the hell happened?" He asked his daughter full of confusion.

"I don't know, I think you may have fell off of the couch face first." Tara said, looking him dead in the eyes.

"Damn, it sure does hurt." He said, getting up taking the bloody rag from her. "Why aren't you at school?"

"Well I came in here this morning and found you on the floor, blood all over you so I decided to stay and take care of you." She lied, hoping he really didn't remember what had happened.

"Oh, well. You should get to school." He said, laying back down on the couch.

"Okay." Tara said, swiping her cell off the table after he closed his eyes and walked out the door, dialing Jax's number.

"Tara? Are you okay?" Jax panicked voice came on the line.

"I'm fine, did you go to school?" Tara asked.

"Hell no. You weren't there. I figured without you there, I didn't need to be there." He confessed.

"Oh, well you wanna hang out then? I was gonna go to school but I'm not really feeling it today." She asked.

"Hell yeah, you wanna meet at the diner?"

"Sure, see you there." She said, smiling.

"Hey babe." He greeted her kissing her cheek.

"Hey," She smiled, pulling his mouth to hers. "I didn't interrupt any plans did I?"

"Na," Jax shook his head. "I was just gonna chill with Op but Donna got back into town early so he went to see her anyways."

"Ah ok. Maybe we can all do something sometime later? I'd like to officially meet her, it'd be nice to have a girl to hang out with." She blushed a little, feeling lame for not having any real friends except for Jax and Opie.

"Cool, yeah, I'll set something up." He winked, sending Op a text.

"So I'm confused about something." He continued. "How does a smart, funny, gorgeous girl like yourself not having any friends?" He asked, genuwinely confused.

"Well." She blushed again. "I have people that talk to me, but none that are on my list of actual friends. I'm quiet, as I'm sure you noticed, so I don't put myself out there the way some girls do. I hate drama queens and self-centered girls who want the focus to always be on them, what they're wearing, their hair, makeup, etc. I can't stand girls like that so that means I prefer to stay away from the majority of the girls at Charming High." Tara laughed and shook her head.

"The guys are not my type, with the exception of you, who I only just realized was my type a few days ago, so congratulations." She laughed again. He loved seeing her like this, totally happy and carefree despite all of the shit her old man puts her through.

"So what exactly is your type, Miss Knowles?" He winked.

"Well, they have to have blonde hair and blue eyes. They need to be tall and have a nice build. They need to own a motorcycle and Oh of course the most important part, their name needs to be Jackson Teller."

"Well, I'm glad I fit the criteria then. Op said him and Donna are free later if you wanna catch a movie or something?" Jax asked, reading the text message.

"Sounds good to me." Tara said. "You want to go for a ride or something until then?" She smiled, sweetly at him. One thing for sure, she never thought she'd be missing being on the back of one of those death machines her mom used to call them.

"Like you need to ask?" He pulled her up into his arms, hugged her brieftly, and led her out to where his bike was parked.

They just rode for hours and it was relaxing for both of them. Jax loved the feel of her arms wrapped tightly around him and her head laying on his back. Tara loved being this close to him. She was still shy around him for the most part, but when they're like this, she has an excuse to have her arms wrapped around him, without feeling to embarrassed.

Jax pulled them into the theater lot where Opie and Donna were already waiting.

"Tara, this is my girl Donna." Opie said.

"Hi, nice to meet you." Tara greeted, smiling.

"Hi, so you're the girl Op tells me has Jax by the balls? You must be a hell of a woman to tame our Jax." Donna said, laughing. "It's nice to meet you, I have a feeling we're going to be fast friends." She continued.

"Thanks." Tara said shyly.

Donna looped her arm through Tara's. "We'll see you in a minute boys. We're going to go to the bathroom."

"Uh...you need company in the bathroom?" Jax asked, not wanting to give Tara up but really not sure how she would feel about Donna rushing this friendship.

"No, I don't need company. It's a girl thing, you wouldn't understand." Donna's voice was bubbly, full of excitement about the possibility of a new friend that didn't have a dick.

"So, we have a few classes together right?" Donna asked.

"Yeah, English and Math."

"Damn, why haven't we met before this, Tara?"

"Probably because we're both quiet in class, we don't attract to much attention to ourself. We leave that to the other stuck up...I mean the other girls." Tara laughed.

"We do have a lot of stuck up bitches in our school huh?" Donna chuckled.

"Indeed." Tara agreed.

"Well, I'm glad to finally meet you. I love hanging with the boys but it'll be nice to have a girl to talk to, I mean if your cool with that?" Donna stated.

"Hell Yeah. Jax is awesome but there's something I just can't tell him yet so a girl friend to bounce things off of will be great. Especially a girl that has known Jax for practically forever."

Tara didn't really know this girl but she could definitely see her quickly becoming her best friend besides Jax. She never imagined this would be how her life would end up. Hanging out with Jax Teller, Opie Winston, and Donna Lerner. It may not be how she pictured, but she always dreamed of one day having a great boyfriend and close friends.

Even with her alcoholic father at home, her mom dead, right now her life in this town was finally starting to make sense, everything was falling into place. It felt great.


	6. Chapter 6

The night passed by faster than Tara would have liked. She hadn't felt this at ease in years and she had Jax Teller to thanks for it.

"Well I better get Tara back home, we'll catch you guys later." Jax said. Donna hugged Tara goodbye.

"See you guys later." Tara said, arm looped through Jax's. Tara climbed on the back of the Dyna and wrapped her arms tightly around Jax, inhaling his scent. She couldn't pinpoint the smell but it was delicious.

Jax stopped a few houses down from her house. "Don't wanna cause shit with your old man again, I'll let you off here." He said, helping her off the bike and pulling her in for a hug, kissing the top of her head.

"Thanks for tonight, I had so much fun." She whispered against his chest. "I better get going." She pulled away only to have him pull her back into his arms.

"Not yet. One more hug." He protested. She hugged him and started to walk away when he pulled her back again.

"Just one more." He smirked.

"I'd love to stand here with you all night Mr. Teller, but the Cutlass is home and it's getting late so I better get in before I do get in trouble. I'll see you tomorrow." She kissed him quickly, leaving before he could grab her again.

Tara opened the door to find everything pitch black, realizing her dad must be in bed already. She shut the door quietly and tip toed to her room.

"Since it's after midnight, I'm guessing you haven't been at school." Her dad's voice startled her.

"I did, then went out with my friend Donna." She stated.

"You could have called, I was worried." He said exasperated.

"How was I to know you'd even be home? You're never home after school. You go straight from work to the bar, leaving me to fend for myself since I was nine years old. Now you're worried about me when I'm sixteen and no longer need you? You're unbelievable." She growled, angrily shoving the tears from her eyes.

"Tara, I know I've made mistakes. I've missed your mom so much and you look so much like her. It's hard for me to look at you, but I never should have taken it out on you. I never should have abandoned you. Please forgive me." Her dad was crying now.

She stared blankly at him. What the hell, was she living in some alternate universe or what? This definitely must be a dream.

"Uh Ok, dad. I'll see you in the morning. Love you." She finally answered, shutting the door.

"Love you baby." He replied.

Could this night get any more weird? Tara laid on her bed replaying everything that had just happened. Her dad has never once apologized for his behavior in the past seven years, until now. Definitely weird.

Tara's alarm was blaring much to early, but it was something else that caught her attention. A delicious smell was coming from the kitchen. She walked into find her dad standing by the stove and orange juice sitting on the table.

"Good morning, sweetheart. I thought you could use some breakfast before you leave for school. I made some oatmeal, scrambled eggs, and toast. I wasn't really sure what you liked." Her dad admitted, looking to the floor, ashamed that he really didn't know his daughter at all.

"This is great..um...thanks." Tara stammered, still confused about what has caused this change in her father.

"You're welcome, eat up while it's still hot." He smiled, pleased when she started eating. "I hope you like it, I realized after I started it's been awhile since I've cooked anything." He looked down again.

"It's delicious, dad." She was actually surprised too, but it was definitely good.

"I've got to get to school now. Thanks for breakfast." She smiled, kissing his cheek. She hadn't forgave him for shutting her out but she was determined to try. He's her dad after all.

"Have a good day, baby." He waved from the door.

Tara got to school excited to tell Jax about the transformation in her father but he wasn't there. She didn't see Opie anywhere either.

"Hey, mind if I sit with you?" Donna asked, coming up to sit by Tara in English.

"Not at all." Tara smiled. "Have you seen Jax around?" She asked, figuring if anyone knew where him and Opie was, she would.

"I think they're doing something for Clay, you know their getting ready to prospect in a few years." Donna replied.

"Yeah, I was just hoping to see him today that's all. Some weird stuff happened with my dad, I just wanted to tell him." Tara said, doodling on her notebook.

"What kind of stuff?" Donna questioned.

"Well, he apologized for checking out the last seven years and letting me raise myself. He even made me breakfast this morning. The man hasn't cooked in years. It's just weird and so out of the blue. I have no idea what happened."

"Well, it might have something to do with Jax." Donna said, biting her lip.

"Jax? I know he him pretty hard but dad thinks he fell off the sofa." Tara said.

"Yeah, I heard about that. I think it was something after that according to Opie. Look, I don't know if I was supposed to tell you so please don't mention it." Donna begged.

"What happened?"

"I heard Jax saw him at the bar and held a knife to this throat, told him if he didn't start treating you better he'd kill him and wouldn't think twice about it. No one would miss him." Donna put her hand on Tara's shoulder. "Jax really cares about you. When he saw that your dad hurt you, he flipped out. I've never seen Jax care about any girl the way he does you. That's total truth." Donna continued.

"Why wouldn't he tell me?" Tara questioned.

"Opie said he was afraid you would be pissed and stop talking to him. He just wanted your dad to treat you the right way."

"I can't fault him for caring about me, I'd be mad if he really hurt him, but I'm liking the new dad so scaring the shit out of him must have done the trick." Tara giggled.

"Good. So hey, I was going to ask you do you want to spend the night at my house Friday night? My parents are going on a business trip for the weekend so we'll have the place to ourselves." Donna asked.

"Yeah sounds fun." Tara agreed. She's never had a sleep over before so she was pretty excited.

Tara used to love school, it was her escape from the reality at home but now without Jax here it seemed pretty boring.

After the final bell rang, Tara and Donna started walking to Tara's to study for their math test tomorrow. The roar of motorcycles caught their attention.

"Hey babe." Jax greeted, pulling up beside them.

"Hey yourself. Forget today was a school day, Teller?" Tara asked.

"Believe me babe, I would have rather been at school with you than dealing with the shit we've been in all day." He said.

"What have you been doing?" Tara questioned, knowing it must be serious if Jackson Teller, the boy who misses more school than he attends would have rather been at school.

"Nothing important." He brushed off the question, changing the subject. "You ladies have plans for dinner tonight?"

"None to speak of." Donna answered. Tara was still staring at him wide eyed, wondering what the hell he had been up to, but figuring it wasn't her place to question him.

"You want to outlaw bikers as dates?" Jax asked, laughing. Opie joined in laughing with him.

"What's so funny?" Donna questioned Opie this time.

"Nothin, sort of an inside joke." Opie said.

"Well Harry Winston if you ever want to be on the INSIDE of me anytime soon, you might wanna spill whatever is so damn funny." Donna playfully slapped him.

"Nothin babe, just some club shit that's all. You know we're not allowed to talk about it, so let it go." He glared.

"Yeah, you're not even in this damn club yet and have secrets out the ass but you're never allowed to talk about it. It kind of makes me wonder why you stay in a club that makes you keep secrets from the girl you say you love." Donna glared right back at him.

"Babe, don't start. I do love you but this is part of the deal. The club stuff stays between the club. You're not part of the club, so I can't tell you." He said, but she turned to walk away instead of listening.

"Listen Tara, you can go with them. I'm tired of club shit always keeping me on the outside of my boyfriend's life." Donna waved at Tara, who stood in confusion.

"Wait, Donna." Tara called to her. "Sorry Jax, we made study plans. I don't know what's going on but hopefully someone can explain it to me, just not right now. I'll call you later." Tara kissed him and ran to catch up with Donna.

"Well that did not go how I planned." Jax said, looking to Op.

"Sorry man, she can be a pain in the ass sometimes, she knows how club shit works but still fights it." Op responded.

"Yeah, well her bitch fit just caught me time with Tara so you need to handle your girl." Jax stated, lightly punching Op's arm.

"She'll cool off, let's go back to TM and see if Clay has any more bullshit jobs for us." Op said.

"What was that about?" Tara asked, once they got into her room.

"I know you're new to this but this is what your in for. They disappear randomly, never say what they have been doing. Sometimes they show up bloody but never an explanation. They aren't even prospects yet and it's this bad. I'm just wondering what it's going to be like when they finally do actually get patched in." Donna said, nose flaring from her anger.

"Bloody, as in they get hurt on these jobs? I thought they were just a motorcycle club?" Tara asked, worried now.

"That's the story. I think it's more than that. Clearly, it's something dangerous or they'd tell us. " Donna stated.

"Maybe they won't get in the club." Tara said, causing Donna to laugh hysterically.

"Not only will they get in, they'll run the club. It's Jax's destiny to be the President of SamCro and Opie will be right beside him as Vice President. His father was the founder of the club, Jax will one day take it over." Donna said, laughter gone.

"Oh." Those were the only words Tara could form.

"I don't know, Tara. I love him but at some point I need to know I'll come before the club. I just don't think that will ever happen. The club life is all they have ever wanted. A motorcycle and a kutte, they'll die to have it." Donna had tears falling.

"I'm sure that's not true, Donna. Opie loves you. It's pretty obvious." Tara hugged her friend.

"Yeah, I'm not sure that's enough. I don't think I can deal with worrying if he leaves on a job if he'll come back whole or if he'll wind up in prison for some petty bullshit the club had him do." Donna was still sobbing.

"You really think they'd end up in prison or worse?" Tara asked, worried more than ever about Jax.

"Yeah, I've heard the members have all done time, some even years up at Stockton C.I. all for a kutte. I just don't understand." Donna exclaimed.

"Wow." Tara's only response.

This was definitely a conversation her and Jax would have to have in the upcoming future. She needed to find out exactly what this club was, a bunch of motorcycle enthusiasts or a motorcycle gang.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for your reviews. Please keep them coming. :)** **Sorry for the delay in updates, it's been a busy few days.** **Thank you all for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.**

Tara decided to hold off on talking with Jax about the club life, opting to wait and see where this relationship was headed before messing it up prematurely. Maybe Donna had it wrong, maybe the club life isn't as bad as she thinks it is.

Donna and her spent the night studying as planned but Tara's heart really wasn't in it. She wanted to be with Jax more than go over this study guide with Donna. She could probably ace this test without even studying at all, but Donna asked for her help and she didn't want to bail out on her new best friend for a guy.

"You ok, Tara? You know if you want to go hang out with Jax, it'll be okay with me." Donna asked after Tara's attention was clearly not on the study session.

"No, I'm fine, sorry. What was the question?" Tara said, blushing.

"Hey, you know what? We've been studying for hours. How about we call it a night and call the guys. I need to talk to Op anyways." Donna said, laughing at the huge grin that spread across Tara's face.

"Only if your sure.." Tara said, already reaching for the phone.

"I'm sure."

"Hey, we're finished studying if you still want to hang out?" Tara asked into the phone's receiver.

"Bring Op. Donna wants to talk to him." Tara listened giving Donna a thumbs up, indicating Opie would come. "See you there."

The roar of the motorcycles approaching had the girls jumping off of the swings at the little park right down the road from Tara's house.

"Hey, missed you." Jax said pulling Tara in for a bear hug.

"Missed you too...can't breathe." Tara huffed out.

Opie and Donna walked away to have their discussion in private while Jax and Tara walked back to the swings she and Donna were just occupying. Tara sat down and Jax started lightly pushing the swing.

"Sorry about earlier, I promised her I'd study and didnt want to bail on her." Tara stated.

"It's aight, no worries darlin." He said, pushing the swing higher. He loved the sound of her laughter. It was quickly becoming his favorite sound in the world.

"Listen, my ma's been hounding me about bring you over for dinner one night to meet her. You really don't have to, if you're not comfortable with the idea of meeting her just yet." Jax said, really hoping she'd decline, his mother was crazy as hell especially when it came to him.

"You told your mom about me?" Tara asked, trying to hide the grin that was forming on her lips.

"Well, not exactly. Someone saw us together and mentioned it to her. She asked me about it and well my mom's not one that can be easily lied to so yeah I told her about you." He admitted.

Tara's face fell. So he didn't really want to tell his mom about her.

"Oh, well, I'll...come if you want me to. If you don't want her to meet me, I'd understand, I guess. I'm not much to look at, I'm sure you've had better offers and I'm the daughter of the town drunk so...I don't have a lot going for me." Tara rambled on.

Jax was stunned. This was not how he wanted this conversation to go. She thought he was ashamed so he didn't want his mom to meet her?

"Tara, You have to believe me when I tell you this. You are beautiful, you're smart, you're funny, you're everything I wanted and I didn't even know I wanted it until here recently. I'm not ashamed of the fact that your dad is an alcoholic, hell half of the people at TM get drunk on a nightly basis. That doesn't matter to me. The only reason I was hesitant about you meeting my mom is because she's crazy. It had nothing to do with you, at all. I don't want her to try to run you off. She comes on very strong with people, she's used to getting her way and no one standing in the way. I'm her only living son, she' s very over-protective. So believe me, it's not about you. If you can handle all the shit she could possibly throw at you without it scaring you off then I'd be happy for you to come to dinner with me and my crazy ass mother." He took a breath and stared deeply in her eyes, willing her to believe his words.

"Okay. I won't let her scare me away." Tara got out of the swing and stepped into his arms. Warmth, compassion, honesty that's what she felt there. She knew that she could one day love this boy but right now she really liked him a lot.

"Promise?" He whispered, holding her close to him.

"Pinky promise." She laughed, holding up her pinky. He laughed and linked his pinky with hers.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a nerd." He laughed harder.

She just stared at him blankly.

"Yes actually, almost daily, when I'm not invisible. But thanks for letting me know that's how you see me too." She stated matter of factly.

His breathing hitched. "Tara, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like..shit I'm sor"

Her laughter interrupted him. "Relax Teller, I was just kidding. I'm not that sensitive."

"HA HA. You got me, I was going to say though, I like that about you. It's cute. So don't ever change. " He tousled her hair and ran.

She chased after him, jumping on his back.

Both of them were breathing heavy after they chased each other around the park.

They sat back down leaned up against a tree watching the stars.

"So a weird thing happened at home." Tara stated, turning to watch Jax's reaction. It went from worried to anger in a split second.

"My dad apologized for being a dick the past seven years. He even cooked me breakfast." She continued.

"Really? Wonder what caused the change of behavior?" Jax asked.

"Oh, I don't know. I was wondering the same thing." Tara smirked.

"Maybe that ass kicking knocked the wires in his head right." Jax stated.

"Maybe." Tara raised her eyebrows at him but let it go.

The conversation went quiet both looking up at the stars, neither feeling the need to speak.

The hours seemed to fly by when Tara was with Jax. It felt like someone took the hands on the clock manually speeding it up because their time together never seemed long enough.

"I guess I should get home. It's very likely my dad will notice I'm not home, while he's in pod person father mode." Tara stated sadly, not wanting their time together to end.

"Okay." Jax agreed with the same look of sadness.

"I wish this night could last forever." Tara stated, hugging Jax tightly after he walked her home.

"Well, I could sneak in through your window later..." He offered, his mega watt smile turned up to 100%.

"Hmmm...that's tempting." Tara said, fighting the smile. "Okay. I'll leave my window open for you."

"Yeah? Seriously?" He asked, stunned.

"Why not?" She grinned, kissing his cheek. "Well I'll see you later babe." She walked away.

"I'll see you soon." He promised.

 **6 Months Later**

Jax didn't know what it was about Tara that had him turned completely upside down but she was on his mind constantly, he couldn't wait to see her again even after he just left her. It was completely strange for him. She wasn't like any of the girls he chased after. They had only been dating a few months and this girl had him completely questioning his whole future. He saw how the club life was especially for old ladies, was that Something Tara would want to be apart of? Did he want her to be apart of that life? Always worrying about him, always being kept in the dark? He could tell her everything, not hide anything but then would she bail? He wasn't even part of the club yet, not even a prospect but he'd already seen more shit than most people do in their entire lives. Did he want that life for Tara?

Jax knew she was tough, she had dealt with Gemma throwing everything she could throw at her from crow-eaters trying to hook up with him right in front of her, to threats but Tara didn't back down. She stood her ground and eventually won the affection of his mother. He never saw that coming.

Even with all of this he wasn't sure if this was the life he wanted to subject her to. This life is bloody and hectic more than it's not, especially lately. The guys have always got beef with someone now and it seems to never slow down. Clay is even talking about letting them prospect at 17 instead of 18, which is unheard of in Samcro. The rule has always been 18.

The deeper the club is pulling him, the more unsure he is. He could see a life outside of Samcro with Tara, but this is the life he's always known, can he give it up for love?

He knew he needed to decide soon what path he was going to take. His 17th birthday was rapdily approaching.

"Babe?" Tara said, staring at him with a strange expression. "You okay?"

"Yeah why?" Jax asked, unaware that she had just asked him a question.

"I asked what you were thinking about?" She said, running her fingers through his hair.

"You." He winked.

"What about me?" She pressed.

"Naked." He smirked.

"Oh really, does me naked make you look like you are a million miles away?" She pushed further, knowing he was lying.

"Yes ma'am your body is out of this world." He smirked, pulling her down onto his lap kissing her softly.

"Nope," She climbed off of him. "You always do this. You use sex to get out of having these conversations and this time you need to tell me what's on your mind." She folded her arms across her chest and stared him down.

"What do you want from me?" He snapped, unintentionally.

"I want you to tell me what's on your mind that has you zoning out every few minutes today?" She hissed.

"You. I told you that."

"What about me and don't say naked." She was beyond frustrated, it had been like this for the past few days. He was disconnected and she didn't know why.

"I'm debating my life with you."

"You don't want to be with me?" She interrupted, stepping back.

"That's not what I meant. I love you. I was debating prospecting Samcro or taking a different path. I'm just thinking that's all." He pulled her to him and sat her down in his lap. "I was thinking about you naked too though." He winked.

"Class act Teller. Why the sudden change of heart on Samcro? I thought this was something that you wanted?" Tara asked, concerned.

"It is, but you want to be a doctor and you can't go to med school here. I checked. I'm just not sure I can let you go follow your dream and be without you, so I'm debating giving up mine." He answered.

"I can just be a CNA or something, they have classes for that here. We can still be together." She really didn't want to just be a CNA, she's wanted to a pediatric surgeon since she was five and her best friend died of heart defect, the same defect Jax's little brother died from.

"What's a CNA?" He asked, rubbing circles on her lower back.

"A Certified Nursing Assistant." His hand froze on her back.

"That's bullshit Tara, You've been working to be a surgeon since you were little. You told me that. You're not going to give up your dream because of me, I won't let you." He protested.

"It's still in the medical field. I love you and I want to be with you." She looked him in the eyes but he looked away.

"We have time to decide. We still have to finish high school."

Jax decided the best move for now is to let it go. There was no way in hell he was going to let her give up her dream to stay here but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to let her go if he did choose to prospect with Samcro. He knew the pull Samcro had and wasn't entirely sure if he'd be able to fight it. It was his legacy after all.


	8. Chapter 8

"Has Op ever mentioned not prospecting before?" Tara asked Donna the next day at school.

"No. All he ever talks about is how him and Jax are gonna prospect, how they're gonna take over the club from Clay, blah blah blah." Donna rolled her eyes. The club is a the only thing they ever fight about. "Why do you ask?" She asked curious.

"Oh, um just something Jax said that's all, we should get to class." Tara got up from her seat in the cafeteria.

"What do you mean? What did he say?" Donna grabbed Tara's arm stopping her.

"Don't worry about it, D. I was just curious if Op ever mentioned it." Tara patted Donna's hand that was still clutching her arm.

"Tara, what did he say?" Donna growled, clearly not going to let this go.

"He said he was thinking of not prospecting, I'm sure he didn't mean it. He was probably just trying to get laid." Tara laughed it off.

"Right because you don't drop your pants for him anytime he asks. I can't believe this. You date for a little over six months and he's talking about giving up the club life. I've been with Opie for three years and he puts the club before me, even though he's technically not even a member. This is bullshit." Donna stormed off.

Tara was stunned, not understanding Donna's reaction toward her at all.

"Donna, wait up," Tara ran after her. "What the hell is wrong with you? You're mad at me because Jax offhandedly mentioned not prospecting? I thought we were friends." Tara folded her arms across her chest, waiting on an explanation.

"No, I'm not mad at you, I'm annoyed. What do you have that I don't? Why would Jax be willing to give up the club for you but Opie not give it a second thought for me?" Donna had tears in her eyes.

"You sound mad at me. I know Opie loves you, that's all I know." Tara hugged her.

"Yeah, he loves me. He loves me so much he's willing to put the club in front of me. I was semi-okay with it because I always thought that was just his and Jax's thing. The club, the life they always wanted. Then here you come, and Jax isn't so sure that's what he wants after six months but it's all Opie cares about. I'm just gonna bail today. I feel sick to my stomach, I'll call you later. I'm not mad, I promise." Donna hugged Tara and exited the school.

"Hey bro there's your old lady and she looks pissed what the hell did you do this time?" Jax laughed, spotting Donna walking onto the lot at TM.

"Shit, hell if I know. She's always bitchin about somethin." Op shrugged.

"Hey babe, why ain't you at school?" Opie greeted her, pulling her into a hug but she refused.

"I want to know why you don't love me like Jax loves Tara?" Donna growled.

Op looked back at Jax looking for a clue as to what the hell she was talking about but Jax shrugged.

"I do love you baby, what are you talking about?" He tried to pull her in again, but she resisted.

"You love me? Are you sure? Do you love me more than you love SAMCRO?" Donna said, her voice level rising the more she spoke.

"Cut the shit Donna. Tell me what's wrong." Opie was getting annoyed.

Jax knew this whole thing was fixing to turn ugly.

"What's wrong is Tara and Jax have only been dating for six months but he's talking about not prospecting and being with her." She shouted and everyone in the parking lot stopped what they were doing and stared at Jax.

"Shit." Jax cursed under his breath.

"What the hell is she talking about Jackson." Gemma came barreling toward him from the office.

"Nothing, ma." Jax rubbed his hands through his hair.

"Don't bullshit me, she had to get that from somewhere." Gemma was toe to toe with him now. "You can't seriously be willing to throw away your legacy for some piece of pussy just because she asked you to." She growled.

"Stop it Ma. I don't know what the hell she's talking about." Jax raised his voice to match the tone of Gemma's.

"Well maybe I should ask little miss Tara then since apparently she's spreading lies about you." Gemma hissed, pulling out her phone.

Jax grabbed it.

"Leave Tara out of this. She didn't ask me to, she's never even mentioned it. She said she would stay here with me and be a CNA but I don't want that for her. I want her to live her dream and I don't want to be without her so yeah, it was a thought. I'm debating it." Jax growled.

"Son, you can't be serious." Clay said, putting his hand on Jax's shoulder.

"I'm not your son. I can be serious. My life used to be so clear. A kutte and a harley. My dream. Then I met Tara and slowly that dream changed. Tara became the focal point of my dream. I'm weighing my options and right now Tara's the best option I have, I haven't decided on anything yet. Nothing is set in stone."

"It's the pussy talking, you can get all of the pussy you want here why throw away your dream for it?" Tig glared at him.

"I love her. It's not about pussy. You can think I'm pussy whipped if you want. I don't need you to understand. What I do is for you to respect whatever decision I make." Jax shoved past Clay toward his bike.

"Jackson, if you walk away from the club you'll regret it. She'll become some big shot doctor and leave you out in the cold once she has high class doctor friends. Trust me, that life is not where you belong." Gemma ran after him.

"Hey." Jax came up behind Tara as she was walking to her locker at school.

"Hey, I didn't think you were coming in today." Tara said, happy to see him.

"We need to talk." He took her into a janitors closet. "Why did you tell Donna I was thinking of not prospecting?" He growled.

"I..uh...I didn't think it would hurt." She stammered.

"Well it did. Now the whole club and Gemma knows." He sighed frustrated.

"I...I'm sorry." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I didn't know. I didn't think she would say anything." She whispered.

"You didn't think she would say anything? She's been trying to get Opie to give up the club life for years, of course she would say something." He put his hand on both sides of her head. "You shouldn't have said anything." He kissed her softly. He couldn't be mad at her. She didn't know how this works. This was his fault, he should have kept his mouth shut.

"I'm sorry." She sighed.

"It's okay, I just have to figure out the best step to take. Gemma's not going to let this go without a fight." He kissed the top of her head.

"We'll figure something out, baby." Tara wrapped her arms around his neck, staring him in the eyes.

"I have to get to work." Tara said as bell released the students for the day. "I start my first shift at the diner at 3:30, they called right after my first class." She elaborated.

"Okay, I'll take you." He offered.

"What time do you get off I'll pick you up?" He asked.

"8:30" She kissed him before walking into the diner.

The afternoon was going by quickly. She was getting the hang of stuff and she found she liked the job so far. It was definitely a good night until she saw Gemma come storming into the diner staring her down.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" She shouted and the room full of customers all stared their way.

"Gem, now's not the time. I'm working." Tara held up her hands in surrender, begging for Gemma to let it go at least for now.

Of course that wouldn't happen. That's just not Gemma Teller Morrow's way.

"I don't care what you're doing you little bitch. Do you seriously think I'm going to let you steal my son from me, from the club? Think again sweetheart." She leaned over the counter, face to face with Tara.

"Mrs. Morrow you need to leave. This is not the place for this. Tara, you need to handle your business elsewhere." Mr Landry scolded both of them. "You're free to go tonight Tara, don't bring drama like this in here again or I'll be forced to let you go." He walked back into the office.

Tara dropped her head and walked around the corner, motioning Gemma outside.

"I don't know what you think you know Gemma, but I'm not trying to take him from you or the club. I told him he needs to follow his dream and prospect. I don't want him to give that up for me. I can be a cna that's what I told him." Tara pleaded for her to understand. She had worked so hard to get on Gemma's good side and had started thinking of her as a second mother.

"Then convice him to stay." Gemma said, still full of anger.

"I'm trying."

"Try harder and maybe I'll forget this ever happened." Gemma stomped off.

Tara sighed and walked to TM to find Jax.

"Hey babe. Thought I was picking you up? Why are you not working, I thought you said until 8:30?" Jax asked, as she walked into the club house.

"Long story. Can we talk?" She sighed. He took her up to his room.

"So why ain't you at work?" He asked again after closing the door.

"Your mother paid me a visit, they asked me to go home and not bring anymore drama back or I'd be fired." She rolled her eyes.

Jax grabbed the door knob, clearly about to go confront Gemma but Tara stopped him.

"Stop babe, I understand why she did it. She thought I was pulling you away from her and your family." She paused.

"Your not. I am." He growled.

"I don't want that though. I love you and I love them. At first I wasn't sure about the club but it's grown on me. I want you to prospect and I want to be your old lady." She pushed him onto the bed, kissing him.

"I want you to live your dream and become the surgeon you've always wanted to be." He protested, but held her tight against him.

"Well I was thinking about that. I don't think I could be a surgeon babe. I've learned hanging out around here, a lot of blood makes me queasy. I can't afford college anyways and I can start training to be a CNA next year. This is what I want. I want you, I want you to be a member of Samcro like your father wanted for you, I want to study to be a CNA and work here in Charming. This is my home and Samcro has became my family all because of you." Tara lied. She wanted to be a surgeon more than anything but she would gladly give that up for Jax.

"Are you sure?" Jax asked softly. "I don't want you to give up anything for me, Tara. I'd walk away from it all for you, without hesitation.

"I'm sure. I love you. I love them." Tara replied, knowing that if she had Jax she would be happy no matter what she did.

"Okay, if you're sure you don't think you can handle being a surgeon then I'll prospect and we'll take over Samcro one day. You'll be my queen." He was blinded by the fact that she was ultimately solving all of this problems for him, he couldn't see she was lying about what she wanted.

Neither of them knew that Gemma was listening to their conversation on the other side of the door. Smiling widely, suddenly realizing Tara was old lady material after all.

Jax pulled her shirt above her head and unsnapped her bra, kissing her and caressing her skin. He pulled down her jeans and panties and positioned himself at her entrance and gently pushed in. They've had sex many times but this time he wanted it to be slow. He wanted her to feel how much he loved her with every thrust and every caress of her soft skin.

Her hips were grinding against him, meeting him thrust for thrust. He picked her up, flipping her on top and kissed her neck and earlobe while she rode him.

They finished together and she collapsed down on his chest. She fell asleep listening to the sound of his heart beat, wrapped snugly in his embrace.

 _ **A/N: Thank you for the reviews you have left so far, I really hope you're enjoying the story. More to come soon**_


	9. Chapter 9

Jax took Tara home and went home to talk to Gemma.

"Hey baby, you hungry?" Gemma asked as Jax walked into the kitchen.

"No. What the hell is wrong with you?" He growled.

"Watch your tone, son." Clay warned, putting a hand on Jax's shoulder.

"I'm NOT your son." Jax growled, jerking away from Clay's grasp.

"What do you mean?" Gemma questioned, already knowing the answer.

"You know damn well what I mean. You go to Tara's job starting shit over something she had nothing to do with. You almost got her fired, but you don't give a shit do you? All you care about is what's good for you, not anyone else. If you can't be nice and get along with Tara then stay away from her. I love her, you can't change that." Jax was glaring at her.

"I don't have a problem with Tara, she's like my daughter. I had a problem with her pulling you away from me and the club. She said she told you to stay and prospect so we don't have any problems." Gemma raised her hands in mock surrender.

"If I decide to prospect that's my decision, not yours, hers, or anyone else's. No one will decide for me. That's for damn sure."

"Jackson, I only want what's best for you." Gemma stated.

"No, you only want me here where you can manipulate situations to fit your need and desire. You don't give a damn how I feel about it just like when you tried running Tara off when I decided I wanted her to be my old lady. If you come at her again with some bullshit, we will be done, I don't care that you are my mother. I will take her and we will leave Charming and you will be without both of yours sons. Hear me loud and clear, mother. That's my only warning." He stormed out of the house not giving her a chance to respond.

Jax snuck through Tara's window, she was already sleeping so he just climbed over her and pulled her in to his chest.

"Did you tell her you decided to prospect?" Tara asked, sleepily.

"No, I told her it was my decision, not hers or anyone else's. I'll let her worry about what I'm going to do for awhile. Now shhh go back to sleep, love you." He kissed the top of her head and drifted off to sleep with her.

Jax had been avoiding Gemma at all cost. He waiting until he knew she was at TM before he went to get his clothes and avoided TM as much as possible.

Tara hated he was at odds with his mom. He's a momma's boy after all, she felt guilty that she was the reason behind their fight. On the bright side the fight with Gemma had him at school, instead of ditching. She knew they would eventually work things out so she tried not to let it bother her to much, she just hoped things with her and Gemma were okay after everything.

Tara and Donna hadn't spoken since their fight about Donna running to Op and yelling in front of everyone about Jax's plan to choose a path besides Samcro. Donna has been apologizing profusely, but right now it didn't make much of a difference until things were normal with Jax, her, and Gemma.

Opie and Donna were also at odds since Jax was willing to give up Samcro for Tara but Opie wasn't even thinking about giving it up for her.

This situation was a mess and Tara wish she hadn't said a word to Donna about it. She's never had to worry about what to say to people and what not to say, this was still all new to her. She never imagined it would cause this much distress with so many people though. It should have occurred to her. Jax is the Samcro Prince after all.

"You'd really give up Samcro?" Opie questioned.

"If I thought it was best for Tara and me." Jax replied, without hesitation.

They sat on the picnic table at the park staring at the water.

"This isn't you, man. Samcro is a part of you. You just can't give it up." Opie shook his head.

"I don't wanna give it up, I want to live the dream we've always had but the more I think about it, the more I don't think this life is what I want Tara to be apart of. She wants me to prospect, she said she would become a CNA and stay here, be my old lady. You've seen what this club can do, Op, would you really want to subject Donna to that?" Jax hung his head.

"She knew what the club life is and she's here. Why give up everything for a girl?" Op persisted.

"They don't really know though, that's the problem. They only know as much as we tell them, which ain't much. I just worry she'll regret it later."

"Man you're pussy whipped. Tara's tough, she'll be fine. Don't give up the club, you'll regret it then you'll regret being with her and you won't have either." Opie patted Jax's back.

"I don't think I would ever regret being with her. I can't stand not being with her. I feel the need to be with her all of the time and we will have runs out the ass and be gone for weeks at a time. I just don't know if I could do that." Jax said quietly. He knew he sounded like the assholes they always made fun of, but Tara had changed something in him.

"C'mon man. Just think about it carefully before you make any decisions. I got your back and will support you 100 percent but I really hope you decide to prospect with me. It won't always be long runs, that only last til your President, then you send everyone else on the runs." Op suggested.

"I'll think about it, brutha." Jax agreed.

 _"Babe, I was thinking about it. I don't want to prospect. I want us to move to whatever college you decide on when it's time and I want you to go to med school like you planned. I know you can do the surgeon thing babe. You're to smart to give this up, I love you and I won't let you give it up."_ Jax texted her.

 _"Jax, I want you to be sure. I don't want you hating me ten years down the road when your dream didn't come true."_ She replied'.

 _"You are my dream. I could never hate you."_ He responded.

" _Okay, I've got to get back to work, I love you."_

Tara had just got home from work when she heard a knock on her door. She bounced excitedly to the door, she had missed Jax so much and it had only been a few hours.

"Hey ba..." Her words trailed off as she saw Gemma standing there instead of Jax.

"Can I come in sweetheart?" Gemma asked nicely.

"Uh, sure. Sorry thought you were Jax." Tara stepped aside.

"You expecting him?" Gemma questioned, knowing that if Tara's home Jax should be here momentarily. Every source she had telling her his whereabouts Tara was always with him.

"Yeah, but you know that I'm guessing that's the reason you are here." Tara stated, raising her eyebrows.

"You caught me, he's been avoiding me. I need to see him. It's something important." Gemma replied, looking in disgust around Tara's house. The stories of Tara's father being a pack rat were definitely true. She could see where the girl had tried to keep it tidy though, hard to do when there's to much clutter to contain.

"Make yourself comfortable. I was studying for my English final." Tara said, going back into the kitchen to sit down in front of her study guide.

"You're a smart girl, Tara. I think you'll be perfect for the queen of Samcro when I step down. Just keep Jax in line and on the correct path. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to." Gemma stated, lighting up her cigarette.

Another knock on the door and Tara rushed to answer it, hoping he wouldn't be upset when he noticed his mother sitting on the sofa. She left her phone at work so she wasn't able to text and warn him.

"Hey babe, missed you." He greeted, kissing her.

"Missed you..um...your mom's here." She whispered.

"What?" He glared.

Tara stepped out of the way.

"What are you doing here?" He hissed.

"You've been avoiding me." She paused.

"Yeah, which means I don't want to talk to you, feel free to leave." He growled, interrupting her.

"I have something important to talk to you about. I've been having some problems so I had a check up a few days ago. They say I have cancer." Gemma had tears running down both cheeks.

Jax and Tara were stunned.

"They say I have to start chemo to even have a shot, but in most cases, treatment fails. They said I could live another five years or a few months, they weren't sure. " Gemma sobbed. "I'll support whatever you decide to do, Jackson. I just hope you wait until after I'm dead to move away." She sobbed again.

"I'm not going anywhere, ma. I'll stay here with you through it all. I'll never leave you." He hugged Gemma tightly, sobbing himself.

"We both will be with you." Tara said, grasping Gemma's hand. Tara couldn't stand the thought of losing her "second mom" too even with everything going on she loved Gemma dearly.

Neither teen saw the victorious grin Gemma let slip. She had her son back. She knew she would be able to get him to prospect with the club and she knew Dr. Spencer in Lodi would fry up any proof she needed as long as she offered him her pussy and weed anytime he wanted it. He had been in love with her for years. He even helped her cook up this plan in one of their late night rendevous sessions when Clay was to busy to notice she was gone.

"I love you both." Gemma whispered.

"We love you too, Gem." Tara squeezed her hand.

"I'll get out of your hair, I'm feeling tired, I'm going to go home and rest." Gemma stated, feining exhaustion.

"I'll take you home." Jax offered.

"That's okay baby, you stay here with Tara. I'm just gonna go get some sleep." She stood up and sat back down holding her head. "Sorry just a little dizzy."

"Gem, how about you just rest in my room for awhile?" Tara offered.

"I don't want to intrude, I'll just go home." Gemma declined.

"Don't be silly. You're more than welcome to stay." Tara protested.

"Okay, just for a little while." Jax helped Gemma to Tara's bed. This was perfect, Gemma could hear every word they said about what they intend to do.

"Well, I guess that's that." Tara stated. "We can't leave now." She shrugged her shoulders. She hated to admit how excited she was when Jax said even after she protested them leaving he still wanted to leave and go to med school with her.

"We'll stay just until..." His words trailed off, unable to complete the sentence of his mom's passing. "I'll prospect and then when it happens if I'm a patched member, I can go nomad and go with you to school." He suggested.

"What's nomad?" She was confused.

"I'm a member but not of any specific charter, I'll be a traveling member." He replied.

"Oh. Okay, well whatever we do we'll do it together." She looked back down at her study guide, trying to hide her disappointment. She truly did want to be here for Gemma too so she knew it wouldn't take to long to get over it.

"Always darlin." He stroked her hair.

Gemma was standing by the door listening, smiling proudly to herself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the delay in updates, I've been extremely busy lately. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. As always, reviews are appreciated!**

After Gemma heard all she needed to hear, she came out telling Jax she just wasn't tired enough to sleep and had him take her home.

Tara curled up on the sofa thinking about all that had just happened, how much she had grown to love Gemma, despite their differences in the past. She hated the fact that this was happening all over again, a woman she loved like a mother, dying the same way her own mother did. She wasn't sure if she could go through this again. She knew it would destroy Jax. She cried herself to sleep.

Her dreams were full of images of her and Jax living a life outside of Charming. She was the top pediatric surgeon in the country and Jax owned his own his own mechanic shop. They even had four little ones at home, two boys and two girls. Their children were beautiful, the boys looked just like Jax, blonde headed blue eyed future heart breakers. The girls were the spitting image of herself. Dark brown hair, brown eyed, they were gorgeous. Her mother was also still alive and with her father and Gemma and JT were there too.

Jax arrived back at her house to find Tara sleeping peacefully curled up on the sofa with a smile spread across her lips. She was beautiful, even sound asleep with her hair a mess, she took his breath away. He sat in the chair across from her and watched her and wished he knew what filled her dreams, never wanting to see her smile fade.

After awhile she woke up and found Jax watching her intently.

"Hey, when did you get back? Why didn't you wake me?" She asked, sitting up and stretching her arms.

"You looked so peaceful. I didn't wanna wake you, besides with the chainsaw going off I figured you were exhausted." He laughed.

She stared at him, confused. Her foggy brain still a little slow. "Chainsaw?"

He laughed harder and got up to sit by her on the couch. "Yeah, your snoring sounded like a chainsaw."

"I do not snore, asshole." She playfully hit him.

He pulled her in for a kiss. "Actually you do when your tired, but it's cute, not much of a turn on but hey with your hotness babe, the snoring don't bother me to much."

"Asshole." She laughed and rolled her eyes at him. "How's Gemma?" She asked more seriously.

"She's resting. I never saw this coming, I figured if anything took her out it would be the flaw not bullshit cancer." He was still shocked.

Tara wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"If anyone beat cancer, Gemma can. She's the toughest woman I know. She's a survivor. She can get past this babe." Tara rubbed his back, consoling him.

"I hope you're right." Tears overtaking him. He knew his mother could be a pain in the ass but he never dreamed he'd have to worry about losing her so early on in his life. How was he going to get through this life without her? She's always been there for him, his biggest supporter since the day he was born.

Gemma had called a meeting with the club and their family to tell them all about her cancer. She knew she would have to make them all believe one hundred percent to get them to agree to her request later on. She was determined to get Jax to a patched member, no matter the consequences. She knew that if he became a member, the brotherhood would do the rest. He would have everything he always wanted and she wouldn't have to worry about him bailing. This club was his life, his legacy, she knew he couldn't walk away from that.

Gemma gave everyone the same story she gave Jax and Tara. Everyone was stunned, especially Clay. He held her tight unable to speak. The room was silent, no one knowing exactly what to say. No one had ever expected their matriarch to be this vulnerable. They all took turns hugging her, expressing their apologies and telling her she was strong, she would beat this. She asked Clay to call church, she needed to address the members in private. Of course, he did as she asked.

"Thank you all for your kindess. You all are my family. I have been battling this on my own for awhile, unsure of how to tell all of you. I love you all so much and can't come to accept that I'm not going to be here much longer but each day that passes the weaker I become. I didn't want to say this in front of Jax, I think my time is going to be much shorter than I was originally told. The doctors are saying it's advancing rapidly." She paused, sobbing.

"You'll get through this babe. We will be right here beside you." Clay rubbed her hair, his voice strained, trying to hold back his own sobs.

"I don't think so," She patted his hand. "I think I'm dying. I think I'm never going to get to see my son become the patched member we've all been shaping him to be. That was my only dream to see my baby a patched member. I'm never going to get to see it." She cried out and put her head in her hands.

"Well maybe there's something we can do about that, bend the rules a little." Tig started, unable to stand seeing Gemma this torn.

"What do you mean?" Bobby spoke this time.

"I mean for Gem's sake maybe we can let the kid skip Prospecting and just patch him in. He's a legacy after all. This club will one day be his." Tig stated, staring at Gemma. He would never admit it to anyone but he was in love with that woman. If he did admit it to anyone he'd be a dead man. Clay wouldn't hesitate to kill him, especially over Gem.

"There are rules." Clay argued.

"Ay, but we're outlaw, we break rules all of the time. Let Jackie patch in, Opie too. They been at this together since they were wee ones, it's only right." Chibs nodded at Gemma.

"I guess we put it to a vote." Clay sighed.

The club voted unanimously to patch Jax and Opie in skipping prospecting completely. They were going to be the youngest patched members in the history of Samcro.

"Thank you. You guys are amazing, granting me my dying wish." She said weakly.

Jax and Opie were called into the room.

"We've been talking. You boys are Samcro's future, this club this is all going to be yours someday. We decided, with a little push from Gemma, to let you bypass Prospecting. Welcome to the rest of your lives boys." Clay threw each of them their kuttes.

The club cheered out. Both Jax and Opie stood their looking them over. No one has ever bypassed prospecting, they just made history.

Staring at the kutte in his hand he knew this was everything he ever wanted and would do anything to keep it. Now he only hoped Tara was as thrilled as he was.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: This is a shorter update than usual. I'll try to get another one out to you this week. As always reviews are appreciated :)**_

Tara wasn't sure what was happening in the meeting Gemma called with the members, Opie, and Jax but she felt nervous and she coudn't figure out why she felt that way. She never took her eyes off the church door, not even when Donna sat down beside her.

"What do you think is going on?" Donna asked, her eyes also on the door.

"No idea. Probably something about Gemma that they didn't wanna tell everyone." Tara replied, feeling uneasy.

Both girls stood up when the door finally opened, the members came out first and they both gasped when they finally saw their boys.

Tara blinked several times, trying to clear the image in front of her. Jax was a patched member? How was this possible?

Jax spun around in front of her, proud of the kutte he was now the owner of. "What'd ya think babe?" He was beaming.

"You're a member? How?" Tara asked, still stunned, eyes wide.

"They said it was our legacy so no point in making us be prospects. I think they did it for Ma, mainly. It's all she's ever dreamed of, the day I became a member of Samcro. I guess they were just making sure she got to see it before, well you know." His words trailed off again, but his smile never faltered.

Gemma was behind this? Tara began to wonder if the cancer story was even real. She hated herself for thinking that but the timing was off. Jax talks about not prospecting and leaving with her in a few years and all of a sudden Gemma's dying from cancer and Jax becomes a patched member in just a few days from the time he was talking about not prospecting.

"Well what'd ya think?" Jax asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"You look great baby, congratulations." Tara smiled at him and pulled him in for a hug.

"You and me babe, this place is going to be ours one day." Jax spun her around, he was so excited. He was also thrilled that Tara was taking it better than he was expecting.

Samcro threw a party to welcome it's two newest members, which gave Tara the perfect opportunity to observe.

She watched Gemma closely, noticing how before all of this she was tired, run down, acting like she was barely going and now that Jax is patched in she's back to her normal self. A little to convenient. She couldn't shake the thought of Gemma lying to get her way, she knew how manipulative Gemma Teller-Morrow could be.

Tara was determined to get to the bottom of this but she had to be smart about it. She had to outsmart the matriarch, because if she's wrong and Gemma really is dying of cancer then Jax will never forgive her for betraying his mother. If she's right she will have to figure out the right way to bring it all to light.

"Can you believe it Tara? Our Jax is a member." Gemma said kissing Tara on the cheek.

"Yeah, I'm so happy for him. He deserves this." Tara faked a smile, she had to play the part of the perfect old lady and not let her detect there was any suspicion.

"You'll make a great old lady Tara, I'm so happy he has you." Gemma squeezed her hand and left to stand by Clay.

"I sure hope so." Tara muttered under her breath.

"You ready for the crow?" Jax whispered in Tara's ear.

"Actually, I'm not feeling well, I think I'm going to go home and rest." Tara answered.

"What's wrong baby?" He asked, concern feeling his voice.

"I'm okay, just feeling a little nauseous. My dad had it yesterday, I'm sure it'll pass by tomorrow." She lied.

"I'll come with you." He responded, taking her hand.

"Baby, this party is for you and Op. Stay and enjoy it. I'll be okay." She kissed him swiftly.

"Okay, I'll stop by later then, I love you babe."

Tara called every hospital within a hundred mile radius looking for information on Gemma, finally found one who said she couldn't give out any patient details. Every other hospital had said they had no record of a Gemma Morrow. This must be the one. Now she just had to find a way to get a copy of the all of the original results. That was easier said than done.

Tara knew this would take awhile if she was going to be smart about it. It couldn't be rushed. If Gemma was lying then she would take every measure possible to make sure her secret was safe. Tara could let it go, the truth would come out in the end, Gemma can't fake the symptoms of cancer for very long. Eventually the lack of side effects would start to show if people would be smart enough to notice.

What if she is telling the truth though and Tara spent all of this time trying to prove Gemma was lying she knew she would hate herself later for wasting all of their time together.

Was this a chance she really wanted to take? Prove Gemma's lying and make Jax see the truth or risk someone finding out Tara's trying to catch Gemma in a lie and Jax hate her for the rest of her life and lose the only mother she has left?


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for all of your reviews on both of my stories! You all are amazing! I'm really sorry for the delay in both, my computer crashed and I lost everything. We had to buy a whole new computer since the other couldn't be saved. Updates should come a little more frequently again. Thanks for your patience and understanding. As always keep reviewing and enjoy :)**

Tara still hadn't figured out exactly what she was going to do to prove that Gemma's cancer was all a lie. For now she decided to wait it out. That was her best option at the moment. If she rushed things, Gemma would find out. There was no doubt about that, she had eyes and ears everywhere. Tara decided to play nice even though the more she thought about it the more she knew Gemma was full of shit. She was manipulating everyone to get her way, it was just so Gemma. She had seen it with other people, Gemma would twist things until they fit the way she wanted them to but she never thought she would do it to her own son, her own family. Usually it was just with the police or croweaters. Tara knew Gemma had crossed a line and she also knew that Gemma would do everything she could to keep everyone in the dark about her lie. She was desperate to keep Jax here and a desperation can be dangerous, especially when Gemma is involved.

Tara's head hurt from all of this shit. She took some tylenol and laid down. Jax and Opie were now the youngest ever patched members in the history of Samcro, probably in the history of any motorcycle clubs anywhere. She knew he would no longer be interested in leaving with her. He had just been handed everything he ever wanted on a silver platter, years earlier than he ever dreamed possible. He wouldn't walk away now. She would either have to learn to live with it, live with Gemma always manipulating their lives or walk away from them all.

The thought alone made her sick. She loved Jax. He was everything to her. As pissed as she was at Gemma for pushing this with Jax and the club, she loved her too. She just couldn't trust her.

It was after 1:00 a.m. and Jax hadn't showed up yet. She had a feeling this was how it was going to be from now on. He was a patched member and with that came more responsibility than either of them ever dreamed possible, more secrets, and more parties with croweaters throwing their nasty pussy at him than ever before.

She woke up to Jax cuddling in close to her. She glanced up at the clock. 3:30, she sighed.

"Did you have a good time?" She whispered.

"Yeah, I wish you would have been there. I missed you." He pulled her closer to him. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little, still feeling sick to my stomach." She yawned, rolling over to look at him.

"Sorry babe, I hope you feel better soon. You look tired, you should rest. It will help you feel better." He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes.

"I'm fine. What all did you do at the party? Fight off a bunch of sluts? You're a member now, I'm sure it comes with the territory." She rolled her eyes in the darkness.

"Na, they all know I'm with you babe. Only you." He smiled against her head, sensing her jealousy.

"Better stay that way." She hissed, but content enough to sleep.

"Always you, only you my love." He smirked.

"Goodnight, love you." She smiled.

"Love you more baby." He pulled her to his chest and sleep took them both.

When she woke up he was gone. She found a note saying Clay had called church, something was up, he'd see her later but that didn't make her feel any better about all of this. He doesn't come in til early morning and he's gone before she wakes up. She was pissed but she would hide it. She wouldn't let him see how upset she was, not yet.

She had just got out of the shower when their was a knock at her door. She threw on some clothes and ran to answer it, figuring it was Jax but unsure of why he was knocking. He had a key.

"Ms Knowles?" A male officer asked.

"Yes?" She answered, confused and nervous.

"Can you come with me please?" He asked politely.

She was stunned. "Am I being arrested for something? I haven't done anything."

"No ma'am. Your father was brought into St. Thomas, I'm here to escort you there."

"My dad? What's wrong with my dad?" She was throwing her shoes on, panic in her voice.

"There was an accident. He's been shot, ma'am. That's all I can say for now. The Doctors and my superiors will be able to fill you in more." He put his hand on her back as if to support her if she fell from the shock.

She wanted to call Jax but she left in such a hurry her phone was still in her room.

They arrived at St Thomas and Tara was told her dad had been shot three times. No suspects were known. He was in surgery, his condition critical. Tara fell to her knees, unable to support her weight anymore. The nurses were trying to calm her down but right now all she needed to see was her dad and Jax she needed Jax.

"Can I use a phone?" She managed to ask the nurse who was comforting her.

"Yes, come with me." She helped Tara up off the floor.

"Gemma? Is Jax there? I need to talk to Jax." Tara cried out when Gemma answered Jax's cell phone.

"Tara? Is everything okay?" Gemma asked.

"My dad was shot. I need to talk to Jax. Gem, please can you find him."

"I'll find him sweetheart. I'll send him to St Thomas." Gemma hung the phone up before Tara could say anything else.

"Jax, Tara is looking for you." Gemma called out, tossing him the phone.

"We did everything we could. We weren't able to save him." The surgeon spoke.

"He's...dead?" Tara asked.

"I'm sorry Ms. Knowles. We did everything we possibly could." He said again.

"Tara babe, how is he?" Jax came running up to her.

"He's gone." Tara cried out.

"Ms Knowles." A man stepped up to them. "My name is Arthur Milligan, I think I have some information about what happened to your father."

"Tell me." Tara ordered.

"Well, when you can get away from your escort here's my number." He handed her a card.

"What's this shit? Do you have info about her dad or not? If you know tell us, if you don't get the hell on." Jax growled.

"Well with your current affiliation, for my safety I think it's best if I didn't." He looked at Jax's kutte.

"What's that mean?" Jax was up in his face now.

"Stop Jax." Tara pulled him back. "Please if you know about my dad's death, please tell me." Tara pleaded.

He had walked out the door to his car, with Jax and Tara following behind him.

"Please." Tara begged again.

"Just tell us what you know asshole." Jax hissed.

"The people involved with your dad's murder is Samcro, Tara. Samcro killed your father." He answered, climbed in his car and left.

Tara and Jax stood stunned. For now, Tara had forgotten all about her issues with Gemma. Right now all she had on her mind was finding out the truth. Did Samcro kill her father? Jax was pissed, how could this fucker put this on Samcro? They wouldn't kill his old lady's dad. This asshole would need to be dealt with now. No one fucks with his old lady and no one fucks with his club.


	13. Chapter 13

"Let's go back to the clubhouse. We'll get to the bottom of this." Jax held her in his arms. She was frozen in place.

"Why would he say Samcro did this if they didn't?" Tara finally spoke, her eyes locked with his.

"I don't know darlin, we will figure it out though, I promise." He led her to his bike and strapped her helmet on for her. He flipped out his phone and made a call. "Call Church, I need everyone." Jax growled into the phone and hung up.

They got to the clubhouse and everyone was waiting to see what was so important that had Jax barking orders.

Tara grabbed his arm. "Why did you call for church? Only Samcro is allowed in there, this is my dad. I have a right to know what they know!" Tara was on the verge of shouting.

"I will tell you everything that's said. You can trust me babe." He hugged her.

"Can I?" She glared at him. "Some guy just randomly says that Samcro killed my father, and you call a private church meeting to address it. How do I know you'll tell me anything? How do I know you weren't involved? How do I know I can trust you?" She hissed.

"Why would you say that?" He knew she was upset but throwing accusations around was unlike her and could cause a lot of problems especially given she was throwing them around in the parking lot of TM."

"Because someone just told me Samcro killed my father!" She shouted, eyes all around the lot were now on them.

"Shit." Jax muttered.

"What did you just say, Tara?" Clay's voice boomed.

"I've got this, Clay." Jax stepped in front of her.

"What did she say?" Clay growled.

"A guy at the hospital said Samcro killed her father. She's just upset." Jax was still guarding her.

"We're not gonna hurt her, Jackie." Chibs spoke up.

Tara stepped around him but held his arm. "How about we take this inside?" She said boldly.

"That's a good idea." Clay glared around the lot at all of the watchful eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout out there." Tara paused. "I just want to know why this stranger would come to me and Jax saying Samcro was involved in my father's death? What would he have to gain from it, besides a target on his back for making an enemy out of you?" Tara spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. She was nervous but she refused to show it.

"Let's get one thing straight first. Samcro didn't have anything to do with your old man, sweetheart." Clay's voice was softer now. "Tell us who it was so we can figure out why he's spreading lies about us."

"He said his name was Arthur Milligan." Jax stated. "Anyone ever hear of him?" He looked around the room, everyone was shaking their heads no.

"Bring Juice in." Clay stated.

"Juice ain't a member, why we bringing him?" Tig protested.

"Cause he's the only computer genius, maybe if he gets this done for us, maybe we can patch him in for payment. Now call him in." Clay slapped his hand down on the table.

"Got it, boss." Tig muttered.

"Go on til Juice finds info on this guy, then we will go see what he's got against us." Clay dismissed them.

"What are they going to do to him when they find him?" Tara asked, her eyes still red from the crying.

"Just talk to him babe, don't worry." Jax assured her.

She knew he was lying. She had learned a lot about Samcro, mostly through research, but some from Jax. There was no way they were going to let someone who was spreading lies or ratting on Samcro walk away. This guy was a dead man.

"I'm gonna go home, I've got to plan my dad's funeral." She cried out.

"I'll come with you." Jax offered.

"No, that's okay. You need to help them find the only man who can shed some light on this. I'll be okay." She protested.

"Babe, someone just shot your father. There's no way in hell I'm letting you out of my sight." Jax argued back. He was adamant, he was going with her.

"I'll take her home and stay with her son. She's right you should be here." Piney wrapped his arm around her. "I'll stay til you get there."

"Okay. If you're sure," He looked to her for reassurance. She nodded. "Okay then I'll be there soon."

"Come on gal, let's get you home to rest." Piney ushered her into the tow truck.

"Thanks Piney." She sniffled.

"Yeah, Yeah. Don't mention it." He waved her off.

She laid on her bed, after another crying fit. She took out the card the guy handed her and examined it, after all of the comotion she had forgotten he had even given it to her, Jax must have too.

She dialed the number.

"Mr Milligan?" She replied after he picked up. "This is Tara Knowles, you said you had information of my dad?"

"Yes, Tara. I'm sure your Samcro pals are looking into me by now?" He left the question lingering.

"Uh, Yeah. Sorry. Listen, please just tell me the truth. Samcro said they weren't involved. Why would you say there were?" She asked, unsure of why she even called this man. Her gut was telling her he was telling the truth.

"Of course they said they weren't involved. Did you expect anything different? They're not just going to own up to a murder." He paused. "I have all of the proof you need, it's on video."

She gasped. "You have it on video?"

"Yes. If you meet me I can show it to you." He stated. "515 W. 3rd Street right now. Can you get away from any Samcro affiliation?" He questioned.

"Yes. I can. I'll be there soon." She hung up and climbed out of her window. The address was only a few blocks away so she could just walk there.

"Mr. Milligan?" She called out as she entered the abandoned building.

"Are you alone?" He stepped around the corner holding a gun out at her.

She jumped back. "Y...Yes..." She stammered, her eyes wide.

"I'm sorry. This is for my own protection." He said, shrugging.

"I'm alone." She stated again.

"Good. Have a seat." He waved her to the chair. She sat down, she was shaking.

He looked outside all around the room and lowered the gun.

"Sorry. When you have Samcro looking into you, you can't be to careful. Except when they find Arthur Milligan, they're going to be disappointed." He chuckled.

"You're not him?" Tara asked, eyes locked on his.

"No, I couldn't give you my real name." He chuckled again. He raised his fist. Tara flinched away from him. "Here." He said opening his hand to a small phone. "I'm not going to hurt you, Tara. The video is on there."

She grabbed the phone and pushed play. There were several videos she had to search through. "I'm not seeing anything." She stated, frantically searching the videos.

"It's here." He flipped through the videos to the one he needed.

She watched it. There it was plain as day. Clay Morrow shooting her father. She dropped the phone. She was shaking.

"Samcro is not what you think they are. I've been investigating them a long time. You need to be smart and get away from them while you still can." He picked the phone off the floor but was kneeling in front of her.

"Jax and I are going to leave as soon as I finish school." She was still sobbing. She didn't normally cry in front of strangers but she had just witnessed her fathers murder.

"Jax is not going to leave with you. His mother made sure of that." Tara's head snapped up at his words. What did he know about Gemma?

"You know about her?" Tara questioned.

"Yes. The cancer ploy, that was a good plan. It's flawed though, with just enough digging you can find any information." He pulled up videos of Gemma and another man.

"Help me, Help me get my son to stay in Charming. Follow his destiny." Tara could hear Gemma's voice on the tape he played. She could also hear the moans from the man. Ew, this was definitely a sex tape.

"Help me and this pussy is yours, all yours. Help me and you will have an endless supply of weed."

"Do it, do it just like that." The man moaned out. "Tell them you're dying. He won't leave if he thinks you're dying."

"How am I going to prove I'm dying." Gemma's tone was annoyed.

"I can get you all the proof you need, I can also get you some medication later on to weaken you, it will be just enough for their proof. We can shave your hair if we need to, it's a drastic but your hair will grow back. Flip over."

"Do it." Gemma answered. Her plan was now in place and Tara now had everything she needed to bring her down.

"Why are you telling me this?" Tara asked, uncertain of why he was bringing all of this to her attention. What did he want?

"You should to know the truth." He answered.

"You're just going to give me the information?" She asked.

"Not exactly. You need to do something for me." He paused. "Go to college, leave this behind. You promise you'll do that, then yes I'll give you all of the information you need."

She took a deep breath. "I promise." She held out her hand for the proof. He placed them in her hands, he gripped her hand.

"Make sure you keep your promise." He whispered in her ear. Tara backed away from him.

"What's your real name?" Tara asked.

"Kohn, that's all you need to know for now." He disappeared out the back

 _ **author's note: Thank you for the reviews! You all are great! This chapter was a little short, I know, I just wanted to get something out to you. I don't like keeping you waiting for something and I've been busy with my birthday, working on the other story, and Valentine's Day. Happy reading! I'll try to get another chapter out soon! :)**_


	14. Chapter 14

Tara gripped the phone Kohn had given her tightly in her hand. This was all of the evidence she needed to take down both Samcro and Gemma. They would pay for all of this, somehow.

Tara slid the phone into her back pocket, she would have to find a safe place to keep this until she figured out exactly how to deal with it. She couldn't take it to the cops, Clay owned Unser so anything she said to the police would just get back to Samcro.

She returned home, it was heartbreaking walking into her empty house. This place held so many memories, mostly bad after her mom died. Her dad had really made an effort to change though over the few months. He didn't drink as much, he ate dinner with her everytime she was home, and made sure to keep enough groceries in the house instead of blowing all of the money on booze. Now he was gone, but why? What did Samcro have against her father?

Unser knocked on her door.

"Hey sweetheart, how are you holding up?"

"As well as expected, what do you want?" Tara wasn't in the mood for dealing with questioning right now.

"I need you to pack some things and come with me." He gave her an apologetic smile.

"WHY?" Tara demanded, glaring at him.

"You're a minor Tara, you can't live alone." He wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"Why the hell not?" Tara protested. "You didn't have a problem living with an alcoholic who was at the bar more than he was home, I've raised myself since I was 9. I can live here." She pushed the door almost closed before Unser stuck his hand out stopping it.

"Your father's death is being investigated, the court system is requesting that you are put into foster care. My hands are tied kid." He kept his foot in the door so she couldn't shut him out.

"I'm not going into foster care." Tara shouted.

"Easy sweetheart." Gemma appeared behind Unser. "I've petitioned the court to let you live with us until you're 18. It's being reviewed but for now they are allowing it. Come on, get your stuff."

"You've got to learn how to talk to girls Wayne." Gemma smirked as Tara went off to pack her stuff. She didn't like the idea of living under the same roof as Clay or Gemma for that matter but she loved the idea of being in the same house with Jax without sneaking around.

She hid her evidence in her toiletry bag. She would definitely need to find a better place for it later, but if she gave them no reason to suspect she knew anything they wouldn't have a need to pry. She would cooperate with both of them to the best of her ability.

"I guess that's everything I need, what happens to my house?" Tara asked Unser.

"I'm not quite sure sweetheart." He replied, a sadness in his tone.

"Come on, let's get you home." Gemma ushered Tara out the door to her car.

"I'm real sorry about your dad baby, you know we are all here for you." Gemma patted Tara's knee before driving home.

"Thanks, I know." Tara rolled her eyes behind her dark sunglasses.

"Hey. This could be interesting." Jax greeted in a whisper, pulling Tara into a hug. "You and me officially living under the same roof. I've died and gone to Heaven." He chuckled.

"You two will be living in separate rooms." Gemma called out over her shoulder, she knew it was pointless to try to keep them apart but Tara's stuff would need it's own space just in case anyone from social services decided to stick their noses where it didn't belong.

"Yeah, okay." Jax smirked. "How are you holding up?" He asked.

"I'm okay, I'm glad your mom got it set up so I could stay here. I wouldn't live in a foster home, I'd probably run first if I had to do that." She stated, clutching the bag that held the information Kohn gave her.

"Want me to take that up to the room too?" He asked, reaching for the bag in her hand.

"No, that's okay. I've got it." She gripped it tighter.

She sat down on the bed Gemma had set up in the guest room, which now officially belonged to her. She would never sleep here, she knew she would always make her way into Jax's bed. He was the only person keeping her from running into another precinct and telling everything she knew on Samcro and showing all of the evidence she had. She never considered herself a rat, she always kept her nose where it belonged but this was personal. They killed her father and she wanted justice.

She had trouble sitting at the dinner table with the man who had murdered her father in cold blood. She had to keep her emotions in check. The more he talked, the more lies he spewed, the more she knew she didn't want the law handling this. She wanted Clay Morrow to feel everything her father felt in his last moments. She wanted him dead, nothing less. She wasn't a violent person. She wanted to be a Doctor, a healer, but this man was so evil. She hated him and everyone who helped him.

One week later

Tara was terrified of Clay now. She noticed him watching her like he could see right through her, like he knew she had the one thing that could take him down forever. He had been asking questions randomly when Jax wasn't around. She found him in her room, digging through her dresser, searching for something. Luckily Tara had decided her best option was to keep the phone on her at all times just in case anyone did decide to go snooping in her room.

She decided she had to tell Jax everything. She wasn't safe there anymore. If she didn't tell him, show him, he wouldn't be able to save her from whatever Clay was planning. She couldn't put it off any longer.

"Can we go for a ride later? Maybe to that little park outside of Charming? I really need to talk to you about something." She asked him.

"Well I've got work at TM but we can hang out after that. I can pick you up at home."

Gemma out of town supposedly at her check up and Jax working would be the perfect time for Clay to set in motion whatever plan he had or was forming. "Do you wanna just go now? It's really important." Tara pleaded.

"Babe, what's wrong. You're scaring me. Are you breaking up with me or something?" He asked, his tone hushed.

"What? No. I just need to talk to you outside of here, outside of Charming." She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Okay then let's go." He handed her his helmet and she wrapped her arms securely around him.

She was trying to prepare herself for this conversation, it wasn't going to be an easy one. He was all about Samcro and definitely a momma's boy he wasn't going to take this well.

They pulled into the secluded park by the water. At least no one was there to witness the melt down that was sure to follow.

"So what's up?" He hadn't even waited for them to get to their spot they usually sit at before questioning her. She could see he was anxious to see what was going on.

She took several deep breaths before starting. "You know I love you more than anything and I know you love me."

"Are you sure you're not breaking up with me?" He interrupted, not liking where this conversation was going.

"I'm sure, just shut up and listen," She rolled her eyes. "Sorry, Just listen."

"I'm afraid all of the time now." She paused collecting her thoughts.

"Afraid of what? About what happened to your dad? You know I'll never let anyone hurt you. Samcro will find the fucker who did this Tara and make them pay." Jax lifted her chin to look him in the eyes.

"I already know who did this, that's why I'm afraid." She paused again, taking several more deep breaths.

"Who?"

It was now or never. "Clay."

She watched his expression change from nervous to confused to angry. "What? Why would you say that, Tara?" He hissed at her. She had mistaken his expression to be because of Clay but actually he was mad at her?

"I have proof." She held out the phone pushing play on the video for him to see. He watched in silence.

"This is fake, Tara. Samcro wouldn't kill your dad." He was gripping the phone tightly, glaring at her. "Where did you get this?"

"Someone who wanted me to know the truth, I thought you would help me but I guess I was wrong. Clay killed my dad, Jax. I don't know why he did it but I know he did. He's been questioning me while you're gone about the guy who said it was Samcro, trying to scare. I found him digging for something in my room. I don't know what he's looking for but my guess is it's something to do with this. I thought I could trust you, I thought you loved me but it's clear to me that's not the case." She turned to walk away.

"I do love you, Tara but this doesn't make any sense. What would Samcro have against your dad? I'm part of Samcro don't you think I would know if they killed your old man?" He was holding her wrist, keeping her from leaving. "Where did you get this?" He asked again.

"I don't know what Samcro had against my dad. I don't know how they kept it from you, do you really think they'd tell you that they killed your old lady's father? I got it from the man at the hospital."

"They wouldn't kill him, that's the thing. This guy is playing you, babe. Maybe he has a thing for you or something and trying to turn you against the club, against me."

"...or maybe you could stop buying into all of this bullshit for two seconds and look at the evidence in your hand. This isn't fake, it's real. It's Clay and my dad. It's like the old saying goes seeing is believing. You can choose to trust me that it's real or choose to ignore it and let him hurt me too once he figures out I know because I promise you he's already thinking that I do. He killed my father, he wouldn't hesitate to kill me. By the lack of reaction from you though, maybe you already knew about it. Maybe you were involved too for all I know." She jerked her hand away from him, leaving him stunned.

"What the fuck Tara. That's what you think? You think I was involved. You never trusted me at all did you?" He had caught up to her, walking closely behind her. "You never wanted me to be apart of Samcro, you said you did but I could tell once I was patched in you resented the club. Is that what all of this is about? You being mad at the club? At me?" He had stepped in front of her just in time to feel the slap hard across his cheek.

"No, this is about Clay Morrow killing my dad and probably going to kill me but your head is to stuck up his and Samcro's ass to see what's right in front of you. So fuck you Jax, fuck Samcro. I'm done. I'm leaving you and I'm leaving this town. Oh but since you think I'm crazy I might as well tell you, your mom's cancer story is bullshit. She fabricated it so she could keep you in Charming with her. She convinced Clay to patch you in instead of letting you prospect because she knew that once you had that patch you wouldn't walk away and she was right. The proof is right there in your hand too but it doesn't mean much since you say it's all fake and that apparently I'm a liar. So thanks for being a selfish son of a bitch, I'm done. The next time you see me will probably be in the morgue, when my body comes pops up dead somewhere, remember this conversation asshole."


	15. Chapter 15

"Babe wait." Jax ran calling after her. "Would you stop walking for a second, I believe you."

Tara stopped, but kept her back to him waiting for him to continue.

"I believe you. Okay?" He turned her so she was looking at him. "I'm sorry." He whispered, holding her to his chest.

She listened to the sound of his heart beating against her ear. This sound always calmed her, when they slept and she had a nightmare, instead of waking him she would lay her head on his chest and listen to his heart beat. As long as his heart was beating she knew she was safe, he would do anything to protect her.

"Let's go back and sit down okay? We can figure out what to do next." He led her back to their spot pulling her into his lap.

"It's hard for me to believe Samcro had anything to do with this." He stated.

"This is what you brought me back for? To make me believe that Samcro had nothing to do with it? I saw it with my own eyes Jackson and I'm not blinded by the club to see the what's right in front of me." She gritted her teeth to keep from shouting at him again.

"Be quiet and let me finish." He hissed. "I mean it's hard for me to believe that Samcro had anything to do with this. You didn't see Samcro on the tape, just Clay."

"Who is the President of Samcro." She interrupted.

"That doesn't mean anything. The club would never agree to this. If there was a legitimate reason the club needed to deal with an outsider there would have to be a vote, that vote would need to be unanimous and I can assure you baby I'd never vote to kill your father. Clay was alone on this one, Tig may have been involved. I don't know for sure though."

"What do we do now then? The club will back him up? If I bring the evidence to light he'll kill me, especially if he's desparate." Tara asked.

"You won't have anything to do with the evidence. I'll take it to the club. He murdered the father of an old lady, my old lady, they won't look the other way on this." He pulled her closer to him and whispered in her ear. "I promise."

"I still don't feel safe around him." A shiver ran through her body.

"You won't be alone, you will have someone with you at all times."

"What if Clay gets to whoever is guarding me, convinces them he needs my help or something so they leave me alone with him. You know the prospects will do whatever he says, most members will do what he says without question." She questioned. She knew Clay could get his way.

"That's why you will only be with me, Op, or Piney. Just in case. You will be safe babe."

"Okay." She sighed. "What about Gemma?" She asked in a whisper.

He froze. "I don't know. Let's just deal with Clay first."

"Okay." She agreed. She had a suspicion that the two were linked. Gemma didn't seem to surprised about what happened to her dad, almost as if she already knew. Maybe Clay had already confessed to her about what he had done.

Jax pulled out his phone. "Op, where's Clay?" Jax listened to whatever Op had to say. "Okay good, I need you, Piney, Chibs, and Bobby to meet me at the little park right outside of Charming limits."

"Just meet me bro, right now it's important. Keep it quiet to everyone else, tell the others the same. Okay, see you soon." Jax flipped the phone shut.

"Come on, we need to get ready they should be there soon." They was on his bike and traveled the short distance to the arranged meeting spot.

"What's going on Jackie?" Chibs asked beating everyone else to question.

"I have some new information about Tara's dad." Jax paused pulling the video out of his pocket. "On this is proof of who killed him." He tossed it over to Bobby.

"Where did you get this son?" Piney asked.

"The guy from that approached Tara at the hospital recorded it."

Bobby, Chibs, and Opie all had the same shocked expression. Piney didn't look to surprised.

"We need to deal with this. I brought it to you all first because I trust you all more than anyone else. We don't know the reason this was done, but I'm keeping Tara with me, Piney, or Opie at all times until we do know. Clay had been digging through her room looking for something and questioning her about the guy from the hospital while no one was around. I don't know if he would hurt her, but I won't take that chance." Jax turned his head looking each of them in the eye.

"We have to take it to the rest of the club, vote on it. We're talking about removing him as President, taking his patch right?" Bobby asked. He had a feeling Jax wanted more than just his patch.

"If it was up to me, he'd have a bullet in his head right now for the pain he's caused my old lady but I know there are specific ways things have to be done. I won't let him hurt her though, one wrong move and he's dead. I'm telling you now." Jax growled.

"Jax is right, if Clay feels that Tara was the reason he lost his patch she'll be a target if she's not already. We need to figure out why Tara's father was on his radar." Piney stated.

"I think I may know." Tara spoke up, she didn't want to upset Jax but she needed to let her concerns be known.

"Why?" They all said in unison.

"Gemma." She paused watching their confused expressions. Jax took a breath and interrupted her.

"There was also proof that Gemma's cancer story was a ploy to get me to stay here and patch with Samcro instead of leaving for college with Tara. It sounds like it was made up for that reason and she's getting help from an outside doctor that she's supplying with weed and..." Jax's words trailed off, shaking the image of his mom screwing the doctor out of his head.

"She's sleeping with the doctor and promised him all of the weed and pussy he wanted to help her come up with a plan strong enough to keep Jax here for good and get Clay to patch Jax in without him prospecting." Tara finished for him. He nodded at her. "It all makes sense, the timing perfect, Donna announces in front of everyone at TM that Jax was planning to not prospect and leave the state with me to go to college and then all of a sudden Gemma is dying from cancer and Clay decides to patch him into Samcro."

The expression on the men's faces told her that they believed her. That was enough for her right now. If anything did happen to her at least people would have a good idea of what that something or someone was.

"That doesn't answer how Gemma had your father on Clay's radar though lass." Chibs replied.

"Well my theory is she used Samcro to tie Jax down to Charming. She used taking my father away from me so I would embrace the family that Samcro offered, then she wouldn't have to worry about me leaving for college and maybe Jax still leaving with me. If I stay then Jax would have no reason to leave. Maybe she convinced Clay to kill my father for that reason, she was able to convince him to go against club rules and let Jax and Opie patch in without prospecting. I wouldn't put it past her to be able to convince him to do this." Tara answered honestly. This was her belief, it may not be how it worked out but it's what she would bet on.

"We need to take this to the rest of the club, all of it." Bobby said. "If he feels cornered he'll lash out. We need to get everyone on board before he even suspects anything. This needs to be done today." Bobby stated, taking a final drag from his smoke before starting his bike.

Everyone else nodded in agreement. The sounds of engines roaring to life filled the air.

Bobby took point on filling in everyone in on what was going on. Everyone was in agreement, even Tig which surprised Tara. He was always Clay's right hand man. She assumed he was taking the winning side.

"You will get justice for your old man, little girl." Piney said, giving her a genuine smile.

"We need to decide if we take his patch or let him meet mayhem." Happy pointed out.

"For now, I think we should just take the patch. If he causes problems then he will meet Mr Mayhem." Bobby suggested.

"I think if we just take his patch, we're always going to be watching and waiting for him to come back for revenge. This club is his life, he won't just walk away." Jax argued.

"Jax is right." Tig spoke up. No one would have guessed that Tig would turn on Clay but here he was voting with Jax. "Clay's done a lot of bad shit. He needs to meet Mr. Mayhem. He's plotting Tara's death with Alvarez right now, promising him half price gun shipments for the next two months if Alvarez crew takes Tara out and makes it look like an accident. Then he's planning to turn on them and tell everyone that they were behind it. He's going to have a witness come forward."

Tara was trembling. Jax was holding her tighter. "We need to vote Mayhem or I'll go ahead and just kill him myself." Jax growled, slamming his hand down on the table.

The vote was unanimous, Clay Morrow would meet Mr. Mayhem.

Bobby reached out to Alvarez who confirmed Tig's story. Clay was arranging for Tara's demise. Alvarez assured them that killing teenaged innocent girls wasn't something his crew was interested in getting involved in.

They set up for Clay to meet them at the docks, luckily the Irish shipment had came in today. Happy told Clay there was a problem with the shipment and needed Clay to meet him at the docks.

Everyone but Happy was hiding out of Clay's sight until he was where they needed him to be.

"What's going on?" Clay's booming voice caused Tara's heart to pound against her chest.

"They only sent half the guns, boss." Happy stated.

Clay bent down to inspect the box of guns. He was instantly surrounded by members.

"Call McKeevy find out what's going on. What are all of you doing here?" He asked, realizing that every one of his guys were there now.

"Happy said there was a problem with the shipment so we came to make sure there was no problems." Jax smirked.

"I said call McKeevy." Clay glared at Happy.

"Can't do that, boss." Happy stated.

"Why the hell not?" Clay growled.

"He can't because the shipment was right." Jax answered. "You see there's a problem that we need to discuss with you."

"What problem would that be?" Clay placed his hand on his gun. Happy lunged, disarming him.

"The problem with you killing Tara's dad and the problem with you paying Alvarez to kill my old lady."

Tara appeared from behind the crowd of guys to stand by Jax's side.

"Why would I want her dead? I love her like a daughter. I didn't kill her old man, we've been through this already."

"There's proof asshole." Tara blurted out but took a step backwards.

"We have the proof, the boys have seen it, and Tig here told us your plan to have my future wife murdered. I can't let that go. The club won't let that go. Take off your kutte." Jax ordered.

"You think you are taking my patch?" Clay's laugh echoed.

"We can do this the easy way being you hand it over or the hard way with the guys ripping it off of you. Either way it's coming off." Jax stepped forward pushing Tara behind his back, shielding her from what ever happened next.

Clay didn't move a muscle, he stood quiet and still looking at all of them, planning his next move.

Happy and Tig removed the kutte, Clay put up a fight but was no match for both of them.

Jax pulled out his gun.

"I guess you had another vote I wasn't privy too?" Clay asked.

"Yeah, we did." Jax shot Clay in the throat watching the blood spill out everywhere.

"Get this cleaned up before anyone shows up." Jax ordered, pulling Tara into him kissing the top of her head. He pulled her away from the crime scene.

"What now?" She asked.

"We vote on the next President." He answered.

"You? It's your legacy." She raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know. I'm still young so they may vote someone in as Interim President until I'm 18 or a little older. I'm not really sure how it'll play out. We'll see, I guess. I know either way I want you by my side for now and forever. I love you." His lips were on hers.

"I know you do, I love you too." She whispered.

"Nothing says love like capital murder." He smirked at her. She laughed. He could always make things okay, no matter the situation he made her feel better.


	16. Chapter 16---AUTHOR'S NOTE

_**Author's Note: I wanted to take a minute to answer the PM's and Reviews I've received asking when my stories will be updated.**_

 _ **My grandmother was placed on hospice, we were told she would only be with us a few more months-if that-so I decided to take a step back from writing and spend as much time with her as I can. I don't know how much longer she has left, but she's declining rapidly so this time with her is very important to me.**_

 _ **I will update my stories as soon as I can but have no time-frame at this time. I'm sorry that I left some of you wondering and waiting for the next update. I had posted a general announcement in the Facebook group awhile back, but it didn't even occur to me at the time that some of you aren't members of that group.**_

 _ **I appreciate all of your patience and understanding and I will update as soon as I can. Much love to you all!**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Hey guys! It's been a while since I had updated this one so I wanted to get something out to you. It's a short chapter (sorry) but I hope you enjoy! :)**_

The club voted for Bobby to take over as President until Jax's eighteenth birthday, after that he could decide if he was ready to take the gavel or delay it a little longer. Jax was pretty much running things already but the Bobby held the title for now.

Tara never left Jax's side, the images of Clay's murder haunted her. She didn't feel sorry for him in the least, but capital murder just wasn't something she'd ever get used to, regardless of how much of a sadistic asshole they were.

Gemma hadn't questioned yet about Clay's whereabouts. She hadn't even made an appearance yet. Tara wondered if someone had tipped her off about everything and she was in hiding. Jax had tried to call her with no answer, so only time would tell.

"You're quiet." Jax acknowledged, watching Tara stare off into space. He moved to sit beside her. "What's on your mind?"

"You'll be President soon." She answered, still staring off in the distance. "What does that mean for us?" She wanted them to be okay, but she had so many dreams she wanted to pursue herself. She couldn't fulfill them here in Charming.

"I want you to stay with me Tara. Be my queen." He knelt in front of her so she had no choice but to look at him. "We can get married, have some kids, live happily ever after."

"Sounds like a fairytale." She stated, neither agreeing or disagreeing to his proposition. He felt hopeful, it wasn't a straight out _no._

"I'm all about the fairytale baby." He winked, kissing her softly.

"Of course you are. _Prince Charming."_ She rolled her eyes, but grinned momentarily before her serious expression was back, "What about your mother? Every time we do something she doesn't agree with, she comes up with some ploy to make us do what she wants? She'll always be there Jax, interfering in our lives, telling us how to raise our kids. I just don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for what she did.

"My mother will be dealt with. I don't know exactly how yet." He responded, his heart heavy. He loved her, he was always a momma's boy, he wasn't sure what to do yet.

"Okay. If I'm even going to think about staying, I'll need a guarantee that she will never interfere in our lives again. She will have NO say in what we do. If we have children, she will have NO say in how they are raised. I'm going to tell you now, so it's clear, if you tell me now that there will be no interference and then go back on it later on after you've forgiven her for this, then I WILL pack myself and our kids if we have any and leave without looking back. That's a promise." She hissed.

He nodded, he didn't like her tone, or the way she promised she'd take his kids and her away but he agreed, "No interference from her ever. Our lives, our decisions."

She didn't know if he'd stick to his promise or not, but she would stick to hers. If she stayed, she's just delaying the inevitable, but if she goes she's always going to wonder 'what if'."

"Gemma just pulled in." Donna stated.

Tara sighed. She was actually hoping the bitch went into hiding.

"Hey baby." Gemma leaned in and kissed Jax's cheek. "Have you seen Clay?"

"Clubhouse."

Gemma nodded and walked into the clubhouse with Jax, Tara, and the other members on her heels.

She spun around, "Where?"

"Have a seat." Jax stated, his nostrils were flaring.

"What's going on son?" She asked, looking around the room slowly waiting for someone to tell her where her husband was.

"Clay's dead." Jax replied, glaring at her. "He was shot."

"Who did this? They will have to pay for this, Jax. No one hurts a member." She cried out, standing up.

"Sit down." He growled.

"Who shot him?" She asked again, sitting down as she was told. "We have to retaliate."

"I shot him." Jax answered.

The look in her eyes told Tara that was not the answer she was expecting. "What happened?"

"He killed my old lady's dad." Jax responded, ignoring Gemma's sobs.

"WHAT?" She screeched. "He wouldn't do something like that."

"There was video surveillance, there's no denying he did it. So we handled it." Tig spoke up.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I had no idea." Gemma reached for Tara's hands, but Tara stepped backwards.

"Oh I think you did. I think it was part of your plan." Tara spat out, giving Jax an apologetic smile.

"My plan?" Gemma held her hand up to her chest and narrowed her eyes. "What the hell are you talking about my plan."

"Don't you know?" Tara purred, "Your bullshit cancer plan to keep Jax here. Yeah. We know about that too."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I showed you the doctors reports. I do have cancer." Gemma spoke slowly, trying to keep from lashing out at the little bitch who was pulling her son from her with each second passing.

"Is that so?" Tara hissed, pulling out the video and pushing play letting the room here Gemma's conversation with the Doctor.

Gemma's eyes were wide, "It's not true, Jax. Tara's never wanted to be here. She's not fit for this life, she doesn't want you to have it either." She focused her attention back on her son, he was the one she needed to make believe. She'd deal with his little gash later.

"Cut the shit, Gemma. It is true. I didn't wanna believe it. I didn't wanna think you'd do something so manipulative, but it's all right there. Clear as a day. Your voice and your Doctor forming a plan to keep me here with you." Jax was cut off by Gemma interrupting him.

"Baby, that's not…"

"No more lies." Jax shouted. "You did it. Own up to it. You lied about cancer so the club would patch me in, and then you had Clay kill Tara's dad so she'd come into the fold too. Lie to me again and it'll be the last thing you do." Jax growled.

Gemma stared at him, sobbing again. She didn't confirm his theory but didn't try to deny it either. She took several breaths, deciding the best route to take. The whole club was here, so she had nowhere to turn if she didn't attempt to make this right.

"I made a mistake." She said softly. "I couldn't lose you. You're my whole life, Jackson. I was wrong. I shouldn't have done it that way. I didn't want to be alone. I'm sorry about your father, Tara. I never meant for him to die. Clay was only supposed to scare him out of town and leave you with us." Gemma stated, dropping her eyes in submission to whatever Jax decided to do from here.

"You held on so tight you lost me anyways." Jax stated, wrapping his arm around Tara. "You are no longer welcome here at the clubhouse. You are no longer affiliated with TM. You do not have a say in my life, Tara's life, or our future kids' lives. If I see you anywhere around my family without permission, I will not hesitate to kill you. Goodbye Gemma." He turned away. It took all he had not to choke on the threat he just made, but he kept his voice even.

"Congratulations Gemma, now you really are alone." Tara stated, turning with Jax.

Happy and Tig escorted her out of the clubhouse and off the TM Lot. She went willingly, but kept her head turned and stared at her son's back until they pulled her out of sight. She had to figure out how to get her son back. She had no reason to live without him.

Tara held Jax tightly, she knew how hard it was for him to banish his mother from his life. She hoped he didn't one day resent her for that decision. "I will stay here with you and go to the community college. We will do this together." She kissed him. It took a lot for her to give up her dream to embrace SAMCRO but he just gave up his mother for her so she owed it to him to try.


	18. Chapter 18

**One Year Later**

Tara stood by Jax just as she promised. He took over as President the day of this eighteenth birthday, much to her distaste, but she was right there beside him dealing with whatever bullshit came along with being an old lady without complaint until the last month or so, she had reached her breaking point.

Gemma tried for six months to win Jax back, he would talk to her on the phone, but he held true to his word and didn't let her near the clubhouse or Tara. She found a new man, Nero, who held most her attention now. Tara wondered what new plan she was cooking up with him, she hoped this wasn't another attempt like before but with Gemma you could never tell.

"I said I'm sorry." Jax stated, watching Tara furiously mop an already spotless floor. "I know I should have called, but I was in the middle of it babe, I just couldn't."

"It takes five seconds to send a text that says I'm alive." She growled. "You could have. You just chose not to."

He balled his hands into fists, he was tired of this never ending fight they had been in lately. He thought he had hit the jackpot when she took the role as "Queen" with a smile, even if sometimes it was a fake smile. Lately, nothing he does is right, she's always bitching.

"Yeah?" He growled into the phone. "FUCK! Be right there." He slammed the phone closed, "I've got to go to the clubhouse. LaRoy is there demanding to talk to me. I'll be back soon. I love you." He hated to admit it, but he was glad for the interruption, he had a lot on his plate with the club and the last thing he needed was to be fighting with his girl.

"Go ahead, run little doggy." She hissed.

He slammed the door behind him, he had to give it to her, she sure knew how to work his nerves.

 **3 am**

She laid in bed watching the hours tick by, growing more annoyed by the second. She jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes, and headed to deal with this shit once and for all.

When she arrived at the clubhouse, they were having a party. She could see some 'black' so she assumed that was Laroy's crew.

"Where is he?" She growled at unsuspecting Half-Sac.

"A…Apartment." Half-Sac stammered.

She spun around taking note of the now nervous look on Opie's face. She could feel her heart hammering against her chest, she was praying he was alone, but if he wasn't that would make this a hell of a lot easier.

She flung the door open, letting it crash against the wall behind it. "You better have a damn good explanation for this." She shouted.

He was alone, fully clothed, lying in bed. The smell of booze in the room was almost overpowering.

"What?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. She had startled him, that was obvious.

"What?" She mocked, "Telling me I'll be home soon but yet it's been over 12 hours and here you are asleep instead of at home in bed with me. So as I said, you better have a damn good explanation for this."

"We came to an agreement with Laroy and he wanted to celebrate. I was to drunk to drive home, since you don't like me drinking and driving, I'm here sleeping it off." He explained, getting more pissed by the second. She refused to give him a break, even when he did what she wanted, she was always bitching about something.

"Oh so you couldn't call and say hey, can you come pick me up or better yet you didn't want me here celebrating with you? Opie had Donna here. Some of the other girls are here." She glared at him waiting on a response.

"Maybe I just wanted to get away from your bitchin'." He yelled, glaring back at her. "I'm tired of you being a bitch 24/7 lately."

A bitch. He had never talked to her like that before. She wasn't sure how to take it. It broke her heart. "You're tired of it." She hissed, "You need a break." She nodded, "Fine. I'll help you out with that. I'm done. I've already talked to Nolan at the diner, he's going to give me a job so I can save up some money to get my own place. Until then I'll see if I can stay with Donna and Opie. I won't leave Charming, as much as I want to. That wouldn't be fair to our child. So I won't do it, but you and I are finished."

His head snapped up, "Child?" She watched a smile form on his lips as if he hadn't heard the rest of what he said or maybe he just so damn cocky he thought he could sweet talk his way back into being with her.

She nodded, "Yes and I stood by you for the past year, helping you whenever you needed it. I supported you even if I didn't agree with you. I was there through it all, but the moment I need you, you aren't there. I'm scared, I'm too young to be a mom, but I thought we could do this together, but you're never home. You're too busy with the club, or apparently too busy 'celebrating' to come home. I told you last week I had something I needed to talk to you about. I spent all day cooking your favorite dinner and dessert, I had candles set up so we could have a nice quiet romantic dinner, and YOU never came home, even after you said you would be there at 8:00, but yet I'm the bitch." She turned on her heels leaving him there to ponder her words.

"Babe." He called after her, stumbling through the hall. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry. You should buy those in bulk if you're going to hand them out this often. I'm tired of your apologies, Jackson, so just save it." She whispered. Her heart felt as if it was shattering. She couldn't imagine living in this town and not being with him, but she refused to let her baby grow up without a father. She would give him the chance to be a good dad and if he still put the club before his child then she would take the baby, move away, and never look back.

"STOP and listen to me DAMNIT!" He had her hand, refusing to let her walk out on him.

"What?" She hissed. "What could you possibly say?"

"I love you." He replied, rubbing his thumb over her hand.

"I love you, but until you can balance the club with us, we will never work out. I'm not the type of girl to hang around in the background while you are out doing God knows what." She whispered, pulling her hand back and leaving him standing there.

She hadn't been home long before she heard the front door open. She pulled out her bag and started emptying her belongings into them. Her heart felt as if it was breaking.

"Please don't leave me." He choked out. She looked up to see him visibly sobbing.

She stopped packing and stepped toward him, "I don't want to hurt you, Jax, but I refuse to let you hurt me anymore. I love you. I have to do this for me." She had her hand on his heart, "If I knew of any other way, believe me I would take that option. I just can't keep coming in second to a club. You promised me when you took over as President that I wouldn't even notice a difference. You wouldn't be gone any more often, you lied. You're never here. You make promises to do things with me and then the club takes priority. You have more freedom without me, you'll be happier." She turned and put the last of her belongings into the bag.

"I will never be happy without you." He objected. He stood in front of the bedroom door, refusing to let her walk out. "I need you. Please don't do this. Give me one more chance. I will do better. I won't go on that run to Nevada. They don't really need me there anyways. We can go take a vacation somewhere. We can leave tonight, stay out as long as you'd like. Please babe. I'll do anything." He was pleading, his hands were shaking. He had never felt so scared in his life, he never imagined she would want to leave him. He was cocky, he thought she'd stick by his side no matter how he treated her. He took her for granted and now he had to back track and make it right, _somehow._

The thought was appealing and she was thinking it over. If he would really leave tonight, maybe things would be different, maybe he understood now what he was losing if he kept this up.

"Please." He said again, "Your bag is already packed. We can throw me some clothes in a bag and just go somewhere. Anywhere."

She sat on the bed, gazing at him. "Okay." She agreed. She pulled out his bag and folded his white t-shirts to put in the bag when the doorbell rang.

"I'll be right back." He kissed her forehead.

She sighed and took the shirt back out his bag and placed them in his drawer. She didn't know what was going on but if someone was here at 4 in the morning, it wasn't good.

She leaned against the headboard waiting for him to come break the bad news. She was bracing herself for the heartbreak that was sure to come.

"You ready?" He questioned, entering the room looking for his bag that was previously on the bed.

"Everything okay?" She asked quietly not looking in his eyes.

"Yeah. Let's go. Any idea where you wanna go?" He needed to be here, but he couldn't risk losing her. The guys needed him, but her and his baby needed him more.

"Who was at the door?" She asked, still staring at the bed.

"Opie." He replied, sitting in front of her and lifting her chin up.

"At 4 am?" She squinted her eyes.

"ATF showed up at the clubhouse. We have to make a quick stop there so I can let everyone know I'm not going to be here for a few days and then we can go." He stroked her hair.

"You're really going?" She asked in disbelief. She was stunned by this. She was so set on heartbreak; she hadn't even considered he would choose her for once.

"Okay." She hesitated, she got off the bed and repacked his bag.

He took her by the hand, "This is how I should have been doing things all along and how I will do things from now on. I love you. You and our baby will always be first in my life." He kissed her softly and led her out the door.

She smiled to herself, afraid to let herself feel hopeful, but couldn't stop it from bubbling up.

"Wait here. When I get done with church, we can go anywhere you want." He kissed her forehead.

"Alright boys, I have some news. Tara is pregnant." He paused, letting everyone getting their congratulations out. He smiled proudly before continuing. "Here's the thing, she's going through a lot. Taking on SAMCRO without complaint has been hard for her, especially now that she's got all of those extra pregnancy hormones. I'm gonna take her on a vacation for a few days, let her get some fresh air. It will do us both some good, if I don't, she's probably going to kill me." He took a breath, looking around the room, he knew now was not the time for vacationing but he needed to make them see how important this was.

"Pres, we need you here." Happy stated.

"I know that but you guys will be alright. No gun running until things die down with ATF, don't give them a reason to come sniffing around. Tara and my baby need me more right now." He explained, hoping like hell they'd understand.

"We can let him have this one." Chibs stated, "he's doing right by the lass and the wee one. We'll be here when you get back Jackie, take care of your family."

Jax nodded his thanks to him. "I'll be back in a couple of days."

"You ready for an adventure, Princess?" He took her by the hand, kissing her knuckles.

"So I've been demoted to Princess?" She smirked at him.

"Not at all, Queen of my club and of my heart." He gave her a wink.

They flew across the country to Miami. She wanted them thousands of miles from Charming, so they wouldn't be drug back for some random bullshit.

They spent the next few days wrapped up in each other, they had more sex over the last few days than they have had over the last few months. Tara was loving it, pregnancy made her unbelievably horny and she could never get enough.

Jax loved her sex drive. He had to admit, he had been reluctant to leave but now that he was here, he could stay like this forever. Just the two of them, two and a half if you count the baby cooking inside her.

This was paradise. He had his girl and his unborn baby without any fear of retaliation from another club, but he did miss his brothers. In just a few days they would be home again and he'd have to figure out how to balance his home life more, he could do it. He is Jax Teller; he can do anything.


	19. Chapter 19

_**6 months later**_

Jax kept his word, he made sure Tara always felt like more important to the club. He loved her, he would always love her.

Tara found her place within the club, she took over the office work at TM, which meant she was near Jax all of the time. She was beloved by everyone, even more so than Gemma ever dreamed of being. She was kind and fierce without being manipulative and overbearing. She helped Jax set his sights on bigger and better legal directions for the club, which was safer for not only the guys but the families at home too. Her mentioning something happening to her or the baby because of gun-running had Jax and the guys all too willing to move in a different direction.

It had been a long day at the office, tons of repo orders came in and had to be sorted through. Tara was exhausted. She felt like an elephant, carrying around an extra 40 pounds of baby weight. She couldn't wait to lay down in a hot bath, her feet were tired and aching even though she had been sitting for most of the day.

"Hey old man. Where's Jax?" She asked Piney. She loved him, he was always like a father to her, especially after Clay killed hers.

"I think he had to run out to Lodi for a bit, he told me to give you a lift home for him." Piney answered, he had an expression she couldn't read. Honestly, she was too tired to try.

"Okay then. He better pick him up something to eat while he's out cuz I'm going to sit my fat ass down for the rest of the night." Tara yawned and stretched out her arms.

"I'll pass the word. Let's get you home." Piney helped her up into the tow truck and smiled to himself shaking his head walking around the back side of it.

"I thought you said he's in Lodi." Tara questioned, looking at Jax's bike sitting in the driveway.

Piney shrugged, "Guess he got done early. Have a good night."

Tara waved in response and made her way inside to see her man, he had been MIA all day today and she missed him.

"Jax?" She called out.

"Close your eyes." Jax appeared, placing his hand over her eyes and leading her into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" She asked, smiling. He had piqued her interest.

"Hush up, woman." He chuckled. He uncovered her eyes and she looked around. He had set up a candle-light dinner.

She smiled brightly, her fatigue forgotten. "You did all this? What's the occasion?"

"I'm celebrating YOU. You make me so happy, you're carrying my child, you're the love of my life. I want you to feel special because you deserve nothing less." He kissed her and pulled out the chair for her to sit down.

She felt happy tears pooling in her eyes. He could be such a romantic when he wanted to be.

She noticed he wasn't wearing his kutte, he was in his plaid shirt with his white tee underneath. "I should have gotten cleaned up first." She stated looking down at her own t-shirt and maternity jeans.

"You're beautiful babe." He kissed her and made her a plate of fried chicken-her favorite-and mashed potatoes with green beans and a roll.

"Thank you for this. You're very sweet, Jax Teller." She couldn't stop smiling.

He was pleased she was so happy with just this, but he wasn't anywhere near finished.

After they ate their dinner he brought out chocolate cake for dessert. "For you, my love." He put the plate down in front of her.

"You've thought of everything haven't you?" She smiled again. "Who cooked all of this food?"

"Donna and the girls at the clubhouse." He replied, "It was Top Secret."

"So that's why I didn't see any of them today." She nodded in understanding. She had been wondering where they all had been.

"Surprise." He shrugged giving her a wink.

"Definitely a surprise." She grinned. "A very nice surprise."

"Well it's not over yet. Come with me." He held out his hand to her. He led her into the bathroom where there were rose petals and candles everywhere.

He helped her into the tub and climbed in behind her and let her lay against him.

"I love you so much babe. You and our little one," He rubbed her protruding stomach, "are my reason for living. I will do everything possible to keep you safe and happy."

She laid her hand down on top of his on her stomach, "I love you too. You've made me so happy. Thank you for not letting me give up on us."

"As long as I'm breathing baby, I'll fight for us." He kissed the back of her head.

"Me too." She agreed, running her fingers on the back of his hand, "Forever."

He helped her out of the tub, helped her dry off, and slid her robe over her. He led her to the bedroom. "Lay down, I have two more surprises."

He slid the robe back off, he admired her naked body. He knew she was self-conscious, but he thought she was stunning. She still took his breath away.

"Sex isn't really a surprise Teller." She chuckled.

"The sex isn't the surprise baby." He winked and pulled her foot into his hands and started massaging.

"MMM." She moaned, his hands were magical, and he rubbed the soreness away.

He gave her a full body massage and scooted off the bed to his dresser drawer. "Close your eyes." He stated.

She did as she was ordered. "What are you up to now?"

"Open them." He said.

She opened her eyes and he was down on one knee with a box in his hand. "Tara Grace Knowles, you are my entire world, the woman who owns my heart. I love you so much and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be more than my old lady, I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?"

Tears sprung in her eyes. She tried to respond but choked on the words, all she could do was nod and throw her arms around his neck.

"Is that a yes?" He chuckled.

"Yes." She answered, breathless.

He pulled her in for a long kiss and ran his tongue down the length of her body sending shivers down her spine.

The next morning when they arrived at TM, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at them and smiled.

"What are they all looking at?" Tara asked looking down at herself self-consciously thinking she had toilet paper stuck to her or something.

"SHE SAID YES!" Jax shouted.

They were all in on it, she should have known. She smiled and laughed with them all.

"Girl, you have no idea how hard it was to keep that secret from you. I was about to bust from the excitement." Donna pulled Tara in for a hug.

"I bet. You kept it pretty well though. Thank you all for the food, it was wonderful." Tara winked.

"Of course that's what best friends are for." Donna stated.

Tara decided to go against the traditional wedding stuff, she wanted a quick ceremony. She said they could have the 'proper' wedding after she lost the baby weight.

Jax agreed, he was in a hurry to marry her, it didn't matter to him how big or small the wedding was. He was going to marry the girl of his dreams, the mother of his child, that was more than enough for him.

The day of the wedding arrived and Tara was a ball of nerves. She could only imagine how nervous she would be if they were actually having all of the extra stuff.

"What are you doing here?" She heard Jax growl from outside her room.

"My son is getting married, where else would I be?" Gemma stated matter-of-factly.

"You're not welcome here; Tara is going to flip if she sees you. This is her day. Now go."

"It's okay. I invited her." Tara replied, wrapping her arm around his waist. "You love your mom baby and it's not fair for you not to have her here on this special day. This doesn't mean I forgive her by any means at all, this is for you. I love you and I want this day to be just as special for you as you made it for me." Her eyes flickered back and forth from Gemma to Jax. She hated Gemma for the shit she caused but her love for Jax was bigger than that.

"Like I said on the phone, I don't want any trouble. I will watch the ceremony and leave if that's what you'd like. Thank you for inviting me." Gemma's eyes were locked on Tara's, she had hoped that this day would come, the day Jax and Tara let her back in. She would do things different this time.

Tara nodded and walked back into her room to finish getting ready.

" _You_ invited _her_?" Donna asked in disbelief, her mouth gaped open.

Tara shrugged, "Jax misses her, I want him to be happy. I want this day to be something he looks back on without regret."

"I get that but do you think you can trust her?" Donna asked, sticking the veil in Tara's hair.

"Definitely…. _NOT._ " Tara rolled her eyes, giving Donna the 'I'm not that stupid' look causing Donna to giggle.

The wedding went without a hitch. Gemma kept her promise and left as soon as the ceremony ended. Tara hoped every encounter would be that simple, but with Gemma, anything was possible. She could be completely fine one moment and then bat shit crazy five seconds later.

"I love you Mrs. Teller." Jax murmured in her ear, nibbling her ear lobe.

"I love you, husband." She grins and pulls his lips down to hers. "Take me home and let's make it official." She winks at him.

"My wife is a naughty woman." He chuckled.

"You like it." She purred, rubbing herself against him.

"I _Love_ it baby." He licked his lips.

 **2 months later**

Jax had been on a run for a week. Tara kept busy with arranging and rearranging furniture in the nursery, buying more baby things. Jax would tease her on the phone saying they already had more than the baby store in Lodi.

She bent over to pick up a stuffed animal that fell off of the dresser when a pain tore through her body and a gush of fluid soaked her pants and the floor.

"Pick up, pick up." Tara frantically called Donna, who didn't answer, she must still be at work.

She tried the garage but everyone had already gone home for the evening. Most of the members were in San Bernandino with Jax.

She gritted her teeth and dialed the one person she didn't want to call, "Gemma, can you come pick me up and bring me to the hospital? My water broke."

Gemma arrived just a few moments later and though Tara still held a grudge she was thankful. She knew she was in no position to drive and she really didn't want to call an ambulance since none of the guys were picking up their phones. She had a feeling Jax would have their ass for that when he returned.

"Deep breaths baby." Gemma stated pulling into the hospital.

"I'm scared." Tara rocked back and forth in the seat, another wave of contractions hitting her.

"I know. I'm here. I'm going to call Jax and he'll be here soon." Gemma squeezed Tara's hand.

"Yeah?" Jax answered the phone annoyed. Gemma wasn't sure if it was because of whatever was going on there or just the fact that it was her calling.

"You need to get home, now. Tara's in labor."

"What? We still have a few weeks left. Wait how do you know this?" Jax shouted into the phone. She could tell he was running.

"Her water broke; she couldn't reach anyone else so she called me. I'm here at the hospital now. They're getting her in a room. Just get here." Gemma answered. She was grateful no one picked up their phone, she wouldn't have this opportunity otherwise.

Jax made it right before Tara started pushing. He rushed in and held her hand. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"You're here now." She said before screaming when another contraction ripped through her.

"One more push." Jax echoed the Doctors statement, "You got this babe." He encouraged, rubbing her sweaty hair back and letting her squeeze his hand.

The cries of their baby filled the air, Tara rested her head back on her pillow. It was the most beautiful sound in the world.

"Congratulations. You have a son." The doctor announced. "You want to cut the cord dad?"

Jax felt a little woozy. He had seen a lot of blood in his lifetime, some of it by his own hands but this was different. He took a breath and cut the cord and Tara smiled proudly at him.

"What's the little prince's name going to be?" The doctor asked handing him to Tara.

"Abel." Tara hugged her beautiful baby close to her chest, "his name is Abel Winston Teller."

Jax smiled at the sight in front of him. His life and heart felt complete.

"He's perfect, babe. You did so good." Jax gently rubbed Abel's head. Tara could tell the infant already had his father wrapped around his little finger, which made her love Jax all the more.

Gemma knocked on the door, "Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to check and make sure you were okay before I headed out."

Tara sighed, "Meet your grandson. This is Abel."

Gemma looked down at the baby in front of her with tears in her eyes, she had messed up so much in her life, but this baby was a fresh start, she prayed Tara would give her the chance to get to know him.

"Thank you for getting me here." Tara stated, handing Abel to Jax. "Maybe once we get settled in at home you can stop by for a while, catch up with Jax and spend some time with Abel. I'm grateful that you were there when I needed you, but don't get things twisted, if you make one move to hurt my family. All of this," Tara motioned between herself, Jax, and Abel, "will be out of your reach forever. Your reign and hold over Jax is no longer valid, he was content living without you. I'm extending this opportunity to you, but it can be taken away without hesitation. If you try to manipulate the situation in any way, I promise you will regret it." Tara never took her eyes off Gemma, she held her ground and Jax was impressed. His girl was a fireball and he would stand by her no matter what decision she made on his mother, on anything.

Gemma nodded, Tara impressed her too. She could see a little bit of herself in Tara.

Jax remained quiet until Gemma left. "That was pretty hot babe." He smirked.

"Damn right." She grinned. She looked at her husband who was admiring his new son, he was perfect, they both were.

She was finally getting her happily ever after.

 _ **Author's Note: Thank you all for reading. This chapter concluded this story. I hope you all enjoyed it. :D**_


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